Title: Every Curmudgeon, Every Friend
Author: klmeri
Fandom: Star Trek AOS
Characters: Joanna McCoy, Enterprise crew
Summary: Joanna McCoy has a request for her father’s coworkers.

A child stations herself at her home’s central computer and demands of the system, “Computer!”

“Voice recognition pattern confirmed. Welcome, Joanna McCoy. How may I assist you today, Joanna?”

“Prepare new message. Recipient, Starfleet vessel identifying as USS Enterprise.”

“Message prepared. Please proceed with recording.”

The child, Joanna, clears her throat, loops a finger into the end of her braided hair, and begins.

Dear Ms. Christine and Mr. Geoffrey,

I am so happy I met you. Thank you for spending time with me when my daddy was busy working. Daddy says you are the best team on his ship. I think he is right but unlike Daddy, you are the best to me because I know you look after Daddy like you look after the other people on the ship when they are unhappy or feeling sick or really tired. I don’t worry about my daddy so much now because you are there.

You told me you are Daddy’s friends as well as his coworkers. When I got home, I thought about that. Can you tell Daddy you are his friends? Because I don’t think Daddy knows.

I miss you already, and I hope I see you again soon.

Thank you,
Joanna McCoy

Dear Mr. Scotty,

I liked meeting you and looking around the engine room. I think you are very smart because you can make Daddy’s ship fly even when it doesn’t want to. I know Daddy didn’t like the part where the ship wasn’t flying right. I did, but don’t tell him that. He might not let me visit again.

While I was there, I wanted to point out that Daddy is older than most everyone but you. I didn’t because Daddy says reminding people of their age is rude. But I think telling you is very important, Mr. Scotty. You can understand my daddy better than younger people. I like having friends my age and I think Daddy would too. I promise he doesn’t yell all the time. He only gets really loud when he thinks someone is hurt because of a silly mistake. If he is your friend, he will also try to protect you from getting hurt.

I hope you will think about being his friend. It would mean a lot.

Yours truly,
Joanna McCoy

Dear Mr. Hikaru,

I messaged Demora like you suggested when I returned to Earth. She is fun and knows lots of interesting things. We agreed to be friends. You can be friends with Daddy like I am with Demora. You, my daddy, and Mr. Ben can talk about adult things whenever Demora and I are hanging out. We wouldn’t mind.

Please be my daddy’s friend.

Hopeful,
Joanna McCoy

Dear Ms. Nyota,

I wish I could sing like you. Daddy says singing that well takes lots of love and you have plenty to spare. He also says you have the kindest spirit on the ship. I wish I could have stayed with you more but I understand why you were busy. No one knows as many languages as you do, so you have to be on the bridge when there is trouble. I will still tell Mr. Jim that you deserve more breaks. Daddy is right about that too. Break time only helps if you actually take them. Please rest more. Then maybe you can sing for the crew like you did for me.

I also think hearing your voice would help my daddy feel better. Sometimes he forgets that good people like you don’t mind talking to him. It’s a silly thing to forget, and you can tell him that the next time you see him. He needs a friend who will be kind to him and stern with him. Granny says that is a true friend.

Love,
Joanna McCoy

Dear Mr. Pavel,

You are cute. Daddy would not have understood if I had said you are cute while I was visiting so I couldn’t tell you then. When I am older, I think we should go on a date. But if we go on a date, you will want to be friends with my daddy first. He does not like the idea of me dating. He will not be happy if we are dating but we can remind him that he should be considerate to friends.

I look forward to you becoming Daddy’s friend. I will contact you again soon.

XOXO,
Joanna McCoy

Dear Mr. Jim,

I am writing to you because my daddy needs a friend. When Daddy is in space and I’m not with him, he is lonely. He told me so. I think you would be a good friend for Daddy because you are funny and you like to go on adventures. Daddy tells bad jokes and hates adventures. Granny says two people who are different can be perfect for each other under the right circumstances. I think because you are the captain of Daddy’s ship and because Daddy is important to your ship (you said so) that this is what Granny was talking about.

Please be friends with my daddy so he is not lonely.

Thank you,
Joanna McCoy

PS – Mr. Jim, I think you need a good friend too. Even if Daddy gets mad and says no, I will be friends with you.

PPS – I can only be friends with you once I become a cadet so you’d better convince my daddy to be your friend now. Mr. Spock will help. I told him everything.

Dear Mr. Spock,

This is Joanna McCoy. We met when I came to visit my daddy, Dr. McCoy, last week for the holidays. I knew I wanted to send you a letter even before I left the ship. I need help with Daddy. You are my best hope.

When Daddy first told me he was going to work in space, I got very mad. I told him if he didn’t want to see me then I didn’t want to see him either. That was a mean thing to say, and I apologized and Daddy said he understood why I was upset. When we finished talking about it, I felt better—but I don’t think Daddy does. I think he is sad despite liking where he is. I started wondering how he could be less sad and came up with an idea after Granny explained that good friends can lessen sadness during a trying time.

I want Daddy to have friends on his ship, but I remember that you said it is important to consider the positive and negative aspects of a solution, so I made two lists.

Why Daddy would make a good friend:
1. He takes care of people for a living.
2. He listens when you have a problem.
3. He laughs at jokes.
4. He doesn’t laugh when you are upset.
5. He always remembers important dates like birthdays.
6. He will give you a hug if you want one.
7. He has good advice about adult things.
8. He isn’t picky about food.
9. He always lets you know if he is running late.
10. He says he’s sorry if he is wrong and doesn’t hold grudges.

Why Daddy would not make a good friend:
1. He asks a lot of questions that are annoying.
2. He likes to answer his questions if you don’t answer them.
3. His jokes are not funny.
4. He laughs at his own jokes even though they are not funny.
5. He is busy all the time and does very few fun things outside of work.
6. Sometimes he will hug you without asking because he thinks you need a hug.
7. He complains a lot.
8. He will make you eat healthy foods and hide your snacks.
9. He is late to everything.
10. He argues for a long time before he admits he is wrong.

Mr. Spock, you would say both sides to the argument are valid. But I still want Daddy to have friends. You are the smartest person on the ship, so I need you to find a way to prove why Daddy being a good friend is more important than why not and tell your friends about him. I wrote to most of them already, but I believe you can convince everyone because I saw that you argued better than Daddy did about many things.

Please help. I don’t understand why Daddy won’t ask for friends himself, and he pretends he doesn’t want a friend. He could stay sad and lonely forever! I don’t think that’s right, and my Granny always says that if you know something isn’t right, it’s your responsibility to fix it or to inform the people who can fix it about it.

You can make my daddy feel better. That’s why I picked you. And since it might be tough if you were to be his only friend, I think you should show others they can be his friends too. Then no one has to worry about living in space without their families. All of you on the ship will be a family.

I have to go now. Granny wants to start dinner before the food goes cold. Thank you for listening to my letter, Mr. Spock. And thank you for being on the same ship as Daddy. It was easy to figure out that you look after him whether he disagrees with you or not.

Your fan,
Joanna McCoy

“I did it, Granny, I did it!” Joanna crows excitedly as she slides into her seat at the family dining table.

“What’d you do, hon?”

The small McCoy child simply grins at her grandmother.

Eleanor ‘Granny’ McCoy stifles a smile and indicates that her grandchild should serve herself after they say a short blessing for the meal.

Joanna eventually questions between mouthfuls of mashed potatoes, “Do you think it’ll work?”

“Only time will tell,” the elder McCoy answers wisely, and their evening goes on.

Days later, Joanna has all but forgotten about her little mission, being preoccupied with the first homework assignments of the new school year. She hears her name called from her open bedroom door, and pulls her attention away from her data padd to listen.

“Joanna! Joanna, come here! The computer is doing something strange!”

Joanna abandons her schoolwork to hurry into the living area of the small house that was her father’s childhood home and plops down onto the couch beside her grandmother. She takes one look at the viewscreen in the woman’s lap and announces decidedly, “Oh, it’s just an incoming message, Granny.”

She opens the message with her grandmother watching, and immediately the screen fills with a scene she instinctively recognizes as belonging on a starship, not Earth.

“Get that thing out of my face,” grouses a dark-haired man in the picture frame, to which Joanna squeals.

Her grandmother mutters, “Lord, it’s your father!”

It is definitely Joanna’s father, in all his irritable glory, batting at the wing of an airborne device hovering around him that must be the drone conveying the scene through subspace.

“Why’s it so important to record this, again?” McCoy wants to know.

“‘Cause, Doctor,” comes a Scottish burr somewhere off to the side of the vid, “we’re required to record all momentous events! Isn’t that right, Mr. Spock?”

“Indeed.” The Vulcan, partly in the frame, is standing just slightly off the left shoulder of Dr. McCoy. “The recording of this event will prove to be invaluable to certain parties.”

“Y’all are both off your rockers,” McCoy complains. “No Admiral is going to be interested in an old country doctor receivin’ an award. Which,” he starts in, his drawl intensifying, “is the most cockamamie thing I’ve ever heard! An Appreciation Award? That’s not in any Starfleet commendation guidebook I’ve ever seen!”

“But it’s in my book, Dr. McCoy,” chimes in a new voice, and the drone turns to capture a smiling Jim Kirk in his dress uniform. The man seems to wink on the sly at the camera, and Joanna claps her hands in delight. Jim goes on, “We appreciate you so much, Bones, it makes perfect sense to host an award party in your honor.”

McCoy reddens, and his gaze cuts from side to side, taking in the fellow crewmen gathering around, some of them clapping, all of them looking happy to be there. His look softens to something notably shyer. “Jim, I reckon I’m not going to understand all this fuss even if you explain it to me a thousand times… but thank you.”

Kirk stops in front of McCoy and clasps the doctor’s shoulder. “My pleasure.”

Chapel and M’Benga pop into view on either side of Kirk, handing out champagne flutes.

“A toast!” Kirk cries, lifting his glass in the air.

Joanna hugs herself hard in delight, and her grandmother leans down to kiss the top of her head.

“To Dr. Leonard McCoy!”

Every person present—and there are more faces than can be captured within the single frame of the recording drone but dozens of voices—join in with a resounding, “TO DR. LEONARD MCCOY!”

“To Daddy and his friends!” Joanna shrieks, laughing.

McCoy freezes amidst the cheering crowd, eyes widening. “Joanna? What the hell. I just heard Joanna!”

Joanna gasps and claps a hand to her mouth in surprise.

“Mr. Scott,” Mr. Spock intones dryly, “did you remember to disable the incoming audio?”

Scotty’s face appears at the edge of the screen, eyes rounder than McCoy’s. “I dinnae know?”

“Oh boy,” Joanna hears her beloved Pavel say from somewhere nearby.

“Not surprised,” Sulu answers.

Joanna cannot help a giggle when she sees her father grab the back of Captain Kirk’s uniform as the man tries to make a hasty exit from the scene. To her further amusement, Mr. Spock turns to McCoy in a clear attempt to intervene, placating him with “Do not be alarmed, Doctor.”

“Bones—I swear there’s a good explanation!”

“Then why do you look like you’re trying to think one up? So help me god, Jim—!”

“THREE CHEERS FOR MCCOY!” the party bellows collectively. “HIP-HIP-HOORAY!”

Scotty whispers into the drone’s mic, “Never fear, lass, on the Enterprise we’re always looking out for your dad. He has more friends than the President himself!”

“HIP-HIP-HOORAY!”

“Eghh, Bones, not so tight with the collar!”

“Appreciation award, my ass!”

The vidscreen spins in a circle and is covered by something like a red uniform sleeve.

“Doctor, I must insist. Harming the Captain will only delay the explanation.”

“Thanks a lot, Spock,” is his captain’s sour reply. “Tell Bones this was your idea!”

“Shut up, both of you, or you’re all gonna be hurtin’!”

A wild, final chorus of “HIP-HIP-HOORAY!” nearly deafens Joanna and Eleanor.

“Scotty,” the child hears Nyota Uhura murmur, “turn that thing off.” Then, “Joanna, love, I’ll send you a copy of the transmission later. But right now, we need to rescue Captain Kirk so your father can have one of his best friends around for a while longer.”

She says happily, “Thank you, Ms. Nyota. Thank you to everyone!”

“Our pleasure, sweetums.”

The channel ends. Joanna looks up at her grandmother with a huge grin.

The elder McCoy pretends to wipe a tear from the corner of her eye; in truth she looks nothing but amused. “I suppose we don’t need to worry about your father for a while.”

“I knew Mr. Spock could do it,” Joanna says adoringly. “He’s the best!”

Eleanor tweaks her granddaughter’s braid. “No, this was all you, darling. You appealed to Mr. Spock’s logical nature.”

“And Mr. Jim’s heart!”

“And Ms. Nyota’s lovely spirit.”

“And Mr. Hikaru’s—”

The McCoy women continue on with their praise, enjoying their private little celebration for some time. Both are of the opinion that this gift of friendship (many, many friendships) to Leonard McCoy will bear fruit for years to come.

They wouldn’t be wrong.

-Fini

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