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Radio DJs
Best Qualities
Casanova
No Regrets
—
Imagine Jim, Spock, and Leonard as radio DJs. Jim and Spock host a morning show that is wildly successful simply for the fact that Jim spends half the air-time flirting with his co-host instead of updating listeners on the latest entertainment news. Because Spock in large part seems oblivious to his partner’s flirtatious remarks, it has been speculated that Spock is either (a) immune to the Kirkian charm, a less probable occurrence because Jim is a master who can woo callers left and right – even the show’s guests and producers (who now wisely stay out of the studio when possible) – or (b) is already secretly dating Jim, more probable, and therefore more determined to hide his poor life choices. Fans of the second theory have their evidence, namely when the show’s very rare special guest, another independent radio professional who turns up generally before holiday breaks and that one time Jim had the flu so bad that he could barely talk (sounded like death when he did) and the callers kept dialing in to express their worry so the producers had to step in and have Kirk pulled out mid-show and replaced. Jim only ever calls this guest ‘Bones’ but Spock refers to him by an official title – Dr. McCoy – and less often by Leonard. It is well-known that when McCoy is on the show with Jim in attendance, the level of flirting triples, for McCoy with his Southern drawl can give as good as he gets (while still seeming like the perfect gentleman). Spock’s reaction is… well, annoyed, although some fans will point out it is difficult to tell exactly which of Kirk and McCoy Spock is annoyed with. But in general this is hardly a problem because listener ratings sky-rocket during these three-team specials. The outrageous flirting between Kirk and McCoy, the petty arguments between Spock and McCoy, and the double-team teasing of Kirk and McCoy against Spock is simply entertainment gold. The lucky listeners who have tuned in since the first days of show’s daily live broadcast know a little secret most newcomers don’t. McCoy let it slip once, early on, that he has known Kirk and Spock for years prior to their fame. This is why the flirting and banter must be so casually comfortable among the three men – and why when one listener becomes bold enough to call in and claim, “I swear I saw the three of you in my neighborhood. You were grocery shopping together,” the silence over the air only lasts a second before Jim says to Leonard, “Bones, what do you think about that?” to which his companion on the air replies dryly, “Well, Jim, I think somebody has to keep you from buying everything you’re allergic to,” and for some reason the two of them start laughing at a joke only they understand. Spock graciously thanks the caller for his time and moves the program promptly along. Suffice to say, Jim and Spock’s daily show becomes more popular than ever, the clamor for McCoy to join them regularly leaves the interns drowning in mail. Speculation abounds. What is the relationship between Kirk and Spock… and this Dr. McCoy?
—
Jim Kirk seems like a no-nonsense man but he’s a softie at heart. He’s just like that relative who always slipped you a little money or a sweet treat when your parents weren’t looking and gave you the hug you wanted but couldn’t ask for. You never knew a captain could be so kind.
Leonard McCoy seems like a perpetually glass-is-half-empty fellow who pokes you with his medical instruments a little harder than necessary because, okay, you might have done something stupid to end up in his Sickbay. But he’s also the guy who doesn’t dismiss your concerns, who routinely checks on you even once you’re recovered, and who dresses down that unsympathetic supervisor wanting to penalize you for missing a shift because of your depression.
Mr. Spock seems like he doesn’t heed your existence in the least but one day you realize he has never once demeaned your opinion, no matter how emotionally delivered, and that he knew you wanted to change your career track before you did. All those seemingly random opportunities to learn a different trade were not so random after all. Your best interests have always been Mr. Spock’s best interests.
The day you learn of the close friendship of Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy, and Mr. Spock, your first reaction is happiness. You couldn’t be more pleased that each of these great people is looked after by the other two. However the sentiment is not easy to explain to your coworkers, so you simply say, “They’re well-suited.”
For these men who have cared for you, your mission is clear: be their staunchest supporter.
And this is how the starship Enterprise becomes filled with fans of its very own triumvirate, Kirk, Spock, and McCoy!
—
Spock is known as the Casanova of Vulcan, his brazenness in the company of his spouses having become legendary. The evidence can be seen somewhere on an almost daily basis given that the media has elevated the triad to celebrity status, and so while perusing their news feeds at the morning’s breakfast table, Vulcans across the galaxy are scandalized. Holding onto any part of a mate’s arm in public would be bold but holding hands? Pressing fingers together? Keeping these humans secured to one’s side at all times? Several eyewitnesses even claim to have seen one human or both humans putting his mouth against Spock’s ear in the middle of dignified events!
Spock marrying into the Terran lineage, though the Vulcan’s father had already set the precedent, as expected shocked many. Sarek was forgiven in time for his remarkable choice of wife since Sarek had the common sense to keep his affections for Amanda Grayson limited to private quarters. But this son is too forward, almost rebellious with his behavior. And some have said that when the opportunity presents itself Mr. Spock often hosts lectures to his brethren on the peculiarities of being mated to humans – as if such is a scientific marvel! Subsequently, there have been stirrings among the younger generations of Vulcans, who are beginning to ask for more detailed information to satisfy their curiosity.
In other words, there is not a Vulcan currently alive who does not know about Mr. Spock and his Captain Kirk and Dr. McCoy and have some opinion on the matter. Regardless of this fact, Spock continues to pioneer the new frontier with no obvious regrets. A scandal, indeed!
—
It’s another year gone. Jim would feel sad about that but, side by side with his two favorite people, he only feels anticipation for the future.
It’s another year to forget. Leonard would be happy to bury the memories of all the mishaps, accidents, petty arguments, and mornings of un-caffeinated hell since Jim broke their cabin’s only replicator but that’s part and parcel of the best relationship of his life.
It’s another year of living. Spock would review in exacting detail events of the past year in order to measure its success-to-failure but he sees no need when the obvious conclusion is that he has the means to be happy regardless of what did or did not happen. Means 1 has an arm locked around his waist; from his other side, Means 2 is hopefully eyeing the untouched champagne flute he holds.
Spock hands the flute to Leonard and asks Jim, “Shall we retire to the observation deck?”
“Absolutely,” Jim replies.
“Count me in,” chimes Leonard after downing the drink.
And so, in charity with one another, this is how they welcome the new year – grievances forgiven, upsets forgotten, and without regret.
Related Posts:
- McSpirking on my tumblr, Part IV – from February 10, 2017
- McSpirking on my tumblr, Part III – from August 13, 2016
- I Have To Share This Comment – from February 26, 2015
