The Man Who Never Was (2/6)

Date:

3

Title: The Man Who Never Was (2/6)
Author: klmeri
Fandom: Star Trek TOS
Characters: Kirk, Spock, McCoy
Summary: After a seemingly benign encounter with a new race of beings, the Enterprise is less one member of its crew; and unfortunately getting him back may be impossible, as the man can only be reclaimed if those who wish for his return can prove his value to them. Except there is a catch: no one remembers who he is.
Previous Parts: 1
Or read at AO3


The McCoy Trial

Leonard McCoy is not quite moping about. He has science and medical equipment to play with (courtesy of the Talrek) and he has become something of the resident physician inside the expansive palace that harbors all twenty Council members and their families. Though Leonard tries to keep busy, he is under the impression that he is wasting his time. The Talrek are rarely ill, except for the occasional strange comatose state some of them go into (he’s been assured that it is a natural occurrence for some “special” Talrekians); and his questions and examinations of the people are treated with indulgence, as if McCoy were a child playing doctor dress-up.

Soon, Leonard knows, he will have to leave this planet and get on with his life. When the Federation sends its next delegation, he plans to do just that.

Never had he imagined that his work on the Enterprise might end this way. Sure, McCoy had told himself that if things got too rough, he could always transfer from space back to a dirt-side posting. But after two years onboard the starship, he was beginning to recognize how he fit in, that he was needed there—not just as a senior officer and the responsibilities that came with that position—but as an integral part of how life functioned on the Enterprise. He had friends, people he considered like family.

That’s why his decision was doubly painful to make. Better to end his career as CMO of the Enterprise now before something awful happened to those he cares about. Doctor’s oath or not, Leonard simply cannot stomach the thought that he may be the cause of another’s suffering.

Another Talrekian glides into the room he is currently working in (mostly passing time) to watch the fascinating doctor-guest. No one asks him why he is still on the planet when his companions are gone; yet the way they watch him says that they are aware of the reason. In fact, the way Leonard is watched is rather unnerving, as though there is something in the doctor that has yet to ripen to its full potential. Whatever it is, whatever they are waiting for, Leonard rather hopes he will be off-planet before anything happens.

Nurse Chapel catches her close friend Lt. Uhura in the mess hall. “I thought we were headed to a starbase.”

Uhura hesitates over a meal selection on the replicator program. The communications officer’s quiet answer is “That was the original idea. Something’s changed. We’re en route back to the Talrek.”

They watch as the replicator spits out a tray of salad cubes. Christine procures only a cup of coffee, not sure that she could tolerate anything after such unsettling news. Her gut is telling her that the return to the Talrek is more than a detour from the next six months of approved missions, that it has something to do with the pervading wrongness that has all the medical personnel glancing over their shoulders for a shadow that isn’t there.

She and Uhura settle at the end of a long table. Neither one of them voices concern—or their mutual acknowledgement that whatever is driving the captain back to the Talrek is an elusive feeling which haunts both women as well.

There is an unexpected buzz in the air. Leonard sets down the PADD on which he has been keeping an account of his observations about the people of this planet. The female Talrekian glances up from her work when he turns to her, asking, “What’s got everyone so jumpy today?”

“Jumpy?” she queries. “Please re-phrase, doctor. I do not understand.”

His smile is rueful as he briefly thinks of Spock. “Something is about to happen. What is it?”

Her look becomes sharp, and that alone makes Leonard’s heart thump a little faster in his chest. “A rumor has come to us… an oduni of the Council says we will be visited again.”

Leonard still isn’t quite sure what an oduni is, but he knows that a third of the Council is made up of these people—including the leader of the Council. The leader is always given a deep respect by his peers and, somewhat more subtly, a hint of awe. Having talked with this leader more than once, McCoy senses that the Talrekian is undoubtedly the head honcho of the oduni—and that means he is powerfully skilled at his craft, whatever it may be.

So McCoy focuses on what he can understand, and he is both nervous and chilled. A visit? Who is coming?

Casting his eyes down at his PADD again, he sees nothing. Instead Leonard prays: For God’s sake, don’t let it be Klingons. Klingons have a habit of wanting to prevent potential newcomers to the Federation; that is, by scaring the living dickens out of them. How about a nice small vessel, maybe with a pompous diplomat whom Leonard can talk his way around, or an exploration charter that he can barter his way onto? Just… Just don’t let it be the Enterprise, McCoy prays a little harder.

How could he ever face Jim now?

Two days later and of course Leonard’s luck is terrible. Not long after the Talrek begin to converge on one side of the palace—the doctor belatedly realizing that his usual group of curious spectators are missing—and Leonard finds an out-of-the-way pillar to stand behind with a good vantage spot to watch the Council arranging themselves into some kind of ritualistic formation, does a familiar itch across Leonard’s skin and some feet away a subsequent glow which forms into a series of figures make him say, “Damn it, Jim.”

Captain Kirk does not look happy. And the phaser in his hand augments that impression. Thank God, the weapon is not aimed at anyone yet, thinks the doctor. Next to Kirk, Spock is standing at rigid attention. McCoy also counts three red-shirted officers.

The leader of the Talrek steps forward to greet the party. “You have returned. Welcome. Please, come with us to the Hall. There we will discuss your grievances.”

The doctor can see that it is the lack of pretense which curtails Kirk’s initial response. Spock says something to Jim. Leonard watches as the Enterprise party and the Council move away, the Council like a flowing mass and the visitors rather stiffly. The other Talrek, those who are bystanders, do not follow. Leonard skirts the edge of the palace in a roundabout fashion (occasionally pausing to get his bearings) until he comes to a side entrance of the Hall. No one stops him from entering or from hiding in the back; and if someone tried to, Leonard wouldn’t let allow them to succeed.

He blends into the shadows to listen.

The confrontation is well underway.

“You cannot kidnap a member of my crew!”

“We kidnapped no one,” responds one of the Council, unperturbed. “Such practice is abhorrent to us.”

Kirk reigns in his temper, barely. “Then you must have a good explanation of why the Enterprise left without one of its people—” Then man adds with steely calm, “—and why we cannot remember who that person is.”

“Again, nothing was done that was not agreed upon, Captain Kirk.”

Jim can’t help but wonder what kind of crewman would want to be erased from memory. Was he or she that unhappy? “I agreed to nothing. You will restore everything that you have taken from us: my officer and our memories.” And then he’ll send a detailed report to Starfleet cautioning that the Talrek are more dangerous than they seem.

There is a low murmuring among the Council. “Why?” the leader of the Talrek asks simply.

“Because you had no right, consent or not!” Kirk has to reign in his temper again.

They don’t appear to agree. “Why must this man be returned to you, Captain Kirk?”

Jim is almost disgusted. He snaps, “He is a Starfleet officer. His place is on my ship until released from duty.”

The Talrek Council exchange unreadable looks with one another, coming to some silent agreement. Then the leader turns to Kirk and says, “Your reason does not sufficient for what you demand. We will reconvene in two day’s time, upon which you may answer this question: Why is the return of your officer of importance?” The Talrekian rises, looks down upon the captain of the Enterprise, yet his expression closely resembles pity rather than mirroring the belligerence in Kirk’s. “Rooms will be prepared for your stay, Captain Kirk. We offer the same hospitality to your people as was granted upon your first visit. You are welcome here until such time that the matter between us is resolved to both parties’ satisfaction.”

The rest of the Talrek Council rise also and bow in deference as the leader leaves the open-air platform of the audience hall. Kirk gives a fleeting thought to chasing down the Talkreian but beside him, Spock shakes his head slightly in silence. The Captain unclenches one fist and reluctantly flips open his communicator.

Scotty answers his call immediately, worried. “Capt’n?”

“I am staying overnight on the planet, Mr. Scott, but I will continue to check in every four hours. Keep the Enterprise in orbit; remain prepared to remove her to a safe distance. Spock will come aboard momentarily.”

“Captain,” interrupts the Vulcan, a hint of startled argument in his voice.

Jim smiles grimly at his disconcerted First Officer. “I need you on that ship more than I need you here, Mr. Spock.” He lowers his tone. “Discover the identity of that crewman and anything else that may help us.”

For a moment, Spock is silent. Then he inclines his head ever so slightly.

Jim returns to the communicator. “Beam him up, Scotty.” He flips it closed.

Spock wants to know, “What is your plan, Jim?”

“At the moment? My officer is on this planet—and I intend to find him.” There is a hard glint in Captain’s Kirk eyes.

Spock’s lack of response is answer enough. A transporter beam carries the First Officer away.

As unhappy as the angry Kirk and the stoic Spock, McCoy charges after the leader of the Talrek at the end of the meeting, yet careful to remain unseen by anyone from the Enterprise.

“Stop! Damn you, I said STOP!”

The leader pauses in a short hallway stark of ornamentation. “Yes, doctor?”

“What in blazes do you think you’re doing? We made a deal! You can’t just let them stay!

The leader tucks his hands into the sleeves of his robe. “Would you rather I gave your captain incentive to harm my people?”

Jim wouldn’t do that. McCoy sighs. But if the Enterprise party were banished back to their ship, Jim would only beam down again. This is what Leonard had feared, that whatever the Talrek did to cover up his missing presence wouldn’t stick.

Heart in his throat, he swallows, oddly joyous as much as he is afraid. “I don’t want any fightin’,” he agrees. “What happens if Kirk refuses to leave?”

Something flickers through the Talrek’s silver eyes. “Both your choice and the return of your people thereafter are bound by circumstances following our customs. A rite is enacted which cannot be undone. Captain Kirk may petition us now. We will decide.” The leader lapses into a moment of silence before finally answering the question. “If he attempts to use force to retrieve you, I will defend my people.”

Leonard shifts uncomfortably. “There are no weapons here.” That was one of the attractions of this place.

“Not every weapon can be seen by the eye. You would not understand it, doctor, but I will attempt to explain. To aid in your choice to leave your starship, I altered the manner in which your people respond to your existence. A mental block, as you think of it. To your people, the name Leonard McCoy is unknown; the person Leonard McCoy is no one. But there is another way, a permanent way. It is more effective but also debilitating.”

The Talrekian says all of this so calmly that it does not seem threatening, yet the reality of his words leaves Leonard cold. “I assume ‘debilitating’ means it would make my friends crazy.”

“In time. Scars of the mind are often corrosive. Even an oduni is not immune to them.”

The mere thought of someone hurting his friends that way incenses Leonard. He jabs a finger at the Talrekian in his ire. “Is this a game to you because you’re so damned powerful? You told me things—things no one else could ever know—and I believed you. You said I had a chance to prevent a terrible future, that all I had to do was let the ship go without me ‘n you’d take care of the rest!” He pitches his voice to a tone that has sent ensigns scurrying for cover. “But you didn’t tell me there was a possibility that they’d come back!

The being considers McCoy for a long moment then says softly, “Captain Kirk did not return for Doctor Leonard McCoy; he came because his principles demanded it of him.”

Leonard closes his eyes, already knowing that truth. When he opens his eyes again, the Talkerian leader has closed the distance between them. McCoy boldly holds his ground.

“Are you ready to listen?”

“I’ve been listening, and I can’t say I like anything you’ve said so far.”

“I will tell you of your true purpose among us, doctor. You brought an offer of friendship and brotherhood,” he says, “and asked us to become a part of your Federation; yet what we saw among your representation disturbed us.”

Leonard shakes his head in disbelief. “But you gave my captain well-wishing when he departed. If that was a lie, then it was poorly thought through. The Federation’d have ten ships at your backdoor if they caught a whiff of cooperation.”

The leader frowns, probably working through the doctor’s idioms. “We would not have accepted the invitation, despite any number or variety of delegation parties sent to sway us.”

“So why not tell Kirk that from the beginning? It wouldn’t be the first time an offer was turned down, and it wouldn’t have made any trouble for your world either.”

The Talrek’s leader sighs. “You truly do not understand.”

Trying not to feel like a child in the presence of an adult, McCoy breathes agitatedly through his nose. “Explain it to me then.”

“There are those among us who foresee what has not yet occurred. This is the ability of an oduni. I and many others looked upon the beings of the Enterprise and saw a lack where there should be none. This lack concerns you.”

McCoy wants to protest the word lack, but the leader stalls him with a raised hand.

“Please, I must finish. The others looked at you, thought of you, and to them you were a man of the healing arts, sometimes a friendly voice, but always less than the extent of what you are.”

Of course I’m a doctor and a friend! Leonard retorts in his head. What else would he be?

“Then I saw your future, doctor, with these people. You will experience much suffering—suffering which results from your very nature, your love of your fellow kind, because you value more than life itself but each unique life that touches your own. Yet I ask this: are those you seek to protect worthy of your suffering?”

“Of course they are!” How could that even be a question?

“You answer in haste because you cannot accept the truth. You are replaceable to the others, doctor—” Leonard flinches at that. “—a man to be forgotten some day… you, who is more like a Talrek than any other aboard your vessel.”

Leonard sucks in a breath, finally seeing where this is going. He asks quietly, “Is that what bothers you, then? That if I am not respected as you believe I ought to be, then the Federation won’t respect your people?”

“Yes.”

“But that’s not true. Every race is valued for what it is, and under Federation law we are equal.”

“How can it be so, when the officers of your starship do not recognize the value of one of their own?”

“Look, I’ve had just about enough of your assumptions! You think I’d work with a bunch of idiots who refused to appreciate what I do for them? And even if I agreed with you about my treatment—which I don’t—one, you can’t judge the actions of an entire conglomeration based on the actions of a handful of individuals and, two, it’s none of your business!”

“Your anger is not unexpected.”

Leonard’s jaw ticks but he remembers how close Jim was to losing his temper in front of the Council and even then the Talrek were oblivious to it—or uncaring. McCoy tries to speak as coolly as possible. “This isn’t going to work. Undo it, all of it. I’ll go back to the Enterprise, suffering be damned, and we’ll tell everyone to leave your people alone.”

“No, doctor. The rite has begun. As I have said, it cannot be undone.”

“There shouldn’t be a rite,” Leonard accuses the leader. “You said that my presence on the Enterprise would do more harm than good. Well, I’m not on the Enterprise anymore. That should be the end of it. Now you come up with all this… foolishness!” The leader’s eyes darken, but Leonard ignores the fact that he might be overstepping the line as a guest; if anything, they have pushed him over it. “I won’t let you hurt my friends,” he concludes. To think, he had stupidly believed he was doing the right thing. Instead it’s as if Leonard has led the very people he wanted to keep safe into a trap. What a fool he is!

With shrewdness the Talrekian watches him. “I see. You are not happy with your choice.”

“Doesn’t matter. I didn’t choose based on my own happiness. And don’t change the subject,” he adds.

Doctor,” replies the leader, studying Leonard, “did you not once cause history itself to fall apart?”

He takes a step back, curling his hand into a fist more out of a sudden trembling hurt than anger. “That’s in the past,” Leonard says roughly, “not the future.”

“Yes, but it is an example of how carelessness creates chaos.” A pause. “Do not think that I mean to upset you, doctor. I only wish to remind you of how easily tragedy can occur—that you can become the source of such tragedy, even as honorable as you are. I have said that I see tragedy for the Enterprise, for you because you are on the Enterprise… but moreso because of your companions and their blindness to all that you are and all that you can do for them. Yes, this is a test but not for you, doctor.” The leader, having finished all that he needs to say, turns his back to Leonard in dismissal. Long robes softly rustle against the pale marble of the palace floor as the oduni walks away.

It would be pointless to follow him, and Leonard’s mind is swimming with too many thoughts. He needs time to plan—to consider the implications of what he has done and what he can do now.

In the end, after an hour of nothing but thinking, Leonard McCoy concludes that any path he takes against this ‘test’ of the Talrek would only add to the damage. He has no idea if the oduni of the Talrek are a true threat to the Enterprise with their unpredictable powers of the mind, and he has no reason to trust them anymore. Regardless, Leonard does owe a debt to his old starship. He placed over 400 people in a terrible position, and it is his responsibility to see them free of it.

Perhaps he can help them pass the test, have the ‘block’ in their minds removed… And, well, whether or not the situation wraps up successfully, Leonard is certain of one thing: when it’s all over, he will send in his resignation from Starfleet, because the one mistake he cannot correct is himself. He made the choice that led to this disaster, as he has made past choices with terrible consequences: his clouded judgement over Nancy which wasn’t Nancy at all but a creature whom he almost allowed to kill his captain; the entire hypospray of the deadly cordrazine he should have known better than to carry around in unstable conditions; the full spectrum light test that could have blinded Spock permanently. Leonard McCoy is a man responsible for suffering, as the Talrek have so heartlessly reminded him, and it’s about time the doctor paid the price for his actions.

A Study in McCoy

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About KLMeri

Owner of SpaceTrio. Co-mod of McSpirk Holiday Fest. Fanfiction author of stories about Kirk, Spock, and McCoy.

3 Comments

  1. kcscribbler

    What I really love here is the fact that McCoy is more incensed about the fact that these people have threatened to do effectively, if less painfully, to his friends what mirror!Spock did to him, than he is about his own future and loss of everything he knows. And it makes me sad to know that these Talrek have immediately grasped what very few in that universe did – that McCoy is definitely an underappreciated and unjustifiably sidelighted character. :( That being said, I do love a good excuse for Spock and Kirk getting a good thwapp upside the head followed by whatever version of I’m-sorry-I-don’t-ever-show-you-how-much-I-really-do-care-for-you-inside!hugs for the person they’ve unintentionally ignored in their BFF-ness. ^_^

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