Title: For the Sake of Nothing, Part 9
Author: klmeri
Fandom: Star Trek AOS
Pairing: pre-Kirk/Spock/McCoy
Summary: Jim gets into trouble, continued.
Previous Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

This makes three posts in a row, so please be certain you have read the two prior parts!

“Jim…” came the growl, “get out of the car.”

Jim continued to stare straight ahead. “Did he tell you I refused the ambulance?”

“Spock said there was a friend who needed to go to the hospital and he couldn’t drive him. He asked me to do it.” Leonard ground his teeth for a moment. “If I had known that person was you…”

“Yeah, I get it,” Jim said too sharply.

Leonard tried very hard to be objective. “Look, just do what your boss wants.”

“No.”

Screw objectivity. Leonard slammed his hands against the steering wheel and turned to glare at Jim. “What kind of fucking idiot are you anyway?! You’re bleeding all over his car and Spock STILL cares more about saving your life than his damned upholstery! You’re being a jackass, Jim—and to somebody who doesn’t deserve it!”

“He has no right to force me to do this!” Jim shouted back.

“Yes he does! He lo—” Leonard caught himself in time before he let Spock’s secret slip. He turned his face away and said gruffly to his driver-side window, “Spock cares about you, Jim. That should be enough. More than enough,” he emphasized, daring to sneak another glance at the fuming Kirk.

But Jim wasn’t fuming, or at least he didn’t seem to be. It was difficult to tell with Kirk’s face puffed up to the size of a bowling ball. Leonard shook his head slightly, saying not for the first time since he’d seen Jim, “You look like shit, kid.”

Jim deflated slightly. He prodded at his knuckles. “I feel like shit.”

Leonard would have pointed out, “Then why are you still sitting here, dumbass, when the hospital entrance is ten feet away?” but he saw the hospital’s ER double doors slide open. Spock came out pushing a wheelchair.

This was going to go badly, he could tell. “It’s your body, Jim, and your choice,” Leonard said. “I’m not gonna disagree with you on that. But if you’re going to be cruel to your friend, you’ll have to do it without me.” He opened the car door and pulled a pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket. “I’ll be around the corner.” He spied a sign that said no smoking within hundred feet of the facilities. “…Or somewhere,” he muttered and set off across the medical campus.

Where the heck he could light a cigarette and not have hospital security breathing down his neck? He needed to smoke. He really did. He was too worked up—which was, of course, Spock’s fault. Leonard should have known Spock knocking on his apartment door during what should be business hours wasn’t a good thing. But he’d only thought about the way he had left the coffee shop, without an explanation to the guy who paid generously for a part-time gig, and that he shouldn’t have done it. It must be, he had thought, a godsend for Spock to even deign to see him after such thoughtless behavior.

Instead it was a trick.

Hypocrite. You can’t blame Spock when you’re no better than him.

He felt bad about the lying most of all, though he had tried to convince himself he didn’t really lie. Surely he was only waiting for a sufficient amount of time to pass before he went back to work. Yet a day turned into three days, then four. It was easier to stay away than to face Jim and act like he didn’t give a shit about anything Jim had said. The truth was, Jim might not have been the person he wanted to hear those words from but weren’t they the same words Jocelyn had spoken before they had the fight that broke off their relationship? Seeing Jocelyn again had brought that to mind.

Maybe he has been a fool, twice over.

The issue wasn’t that Jim liked him. It never had been. The issue was Leonard himself. He was not, as Jim said so aptly, the “good guy” he had once been, even if Jim believed that person still existed. He was disappointing Jim by not fighting for the “good guy”. Hell, he might be disappointing himself.

Leonard didn’t quite know.

When did his life become so convoluted? And why now, of all times, did that seem to matter?

Leonard smiled wryly as he strode down the sidewalk. At least I’ve got my common sense today. More ‘n I can say for some people!

The someone in particular he was thinking about was probably breaking Spock’s heart right now. Leonard stilled and considered that, suddenly feeling uneasy.

Maybe he shouldn’t have left Spock?

…No. Spock was tough, that much was apparent. The man could stand up for himself.

Leonard put one foot forward, hesitated. “Oh, damn it!” He spun on his heel and marched back the way he had come.

Spock wasn’t tough. He was probably like putty in Jim’s hands because he had a soft spot for the guy. There was a good reason Spock had chosen Leonard after all, and it wasn’t simply to drive the car. He needed Leonard to help him stand up to Jim Kirk.

Cursing under his breath, he rounded the corner of the building that brought him back to the circle driveway in front of the ER—and saw nothing. The car was gone. Leonard stared at the empty spot where he had parked; that sent him hurrying towards the hospital’s entrance. Worse yet, there was no sign of Jim or Spock in the waiting area. Leonard approached the reception desk and a nurse behind the glass looked at him with disinterest over the rim of her glasses.

“Can I help you?”

“I need to find somebody. Guy just came in here,” he motioned to his own face, “probably looked like he stuck his head in a blender.”

Her gaze traveled pointedly to the large waiting area. “Hon, a lot of those people don’t look good.”

“He’s not one of ’em. I checked.”

“Name?”

He told her. She slowly hen-pecked out J-I-M on the keyboard. Leonard gritted his teeth but held the leash on his temper.

“Sorry, hon. No Jim.”

“Maybe you should try Kirk.” Stupid nurse, the last name should’ve been the first thing she looked for! He wanted to say that badly. Then again, she was the only person he could see in Reception. Just his luck.

“Kirk. With a C or a K?”

“K. K-I-R-K.”

She hen-pecked that into the medical records system.

“Damara?”

“Jim.”

“Tim?”

Oh god. A receptionist with a serious hearing problem and the memory retention of a goldfish. Leonard stole a pen from a clipboard and wrote on the back of a pamphlet about heart disease in bold letters, JAMES TIBERIUS KIRK. JIM KIRK.

She hmmed in disapproval when he returned the stolen pen, then inspected the name he had scribbled down.

“Was he in a wheelchair?”

Leonard straightened. “Yes!”

She nodded to herself. “Charming fellow.”

He looked at her askance. Charming… with Jim’s face looking like it had been a chew toy for a hungry tiger?

“Betty wheeled him to an exam room.” She narrowed her eyes. “Come to think of it, that girl should’ve been back here by now.”

“What’s the room number?”

But the nurse (Mrs. Myrtle May, if her name tag was to be believed) ignored him and pressed a button on her phone. “Page Betty,” she said sharply to the person on the other end of the line. “Tell her not to loiter. We’re understaffed up here!”

“Ma’am,” Leonard said, trying to catch her attention, “the number of the room…”

She typed something into her computer, much more quickly than her previous hen-pecking. “Sir,” she said without looking at him, “you are not injured, otherwise you’d be moaning on the floor and begging for a doctor. Now, unless you’re family of Mr. Kirk—which I doubt, hon, seeing as he checked the deceased column for every relative on his form—I can’t let you go wandering in the back. There are rules.”

Leonard had pressed his mouth into a thin line as she spoke. Her tone irritated him and his reply came out rather hot. “You can’t—”

“Myrtle, I’m so sorry!” A young blonde bounded up to the front desk, talking right over Leonard in her excitement. Her face was pleasantly flushed. “Jim needed helping out of his clothes…” She trailed off at Myrtle’s no-nonsense expression.

“There are other staff members to help Mr. Kirk,” the older nurse chastised. “Your duties do not include dallying with the male patients!”

“But he…” The girl quieted into a pout. Then she caught sight of McCoy and brightened. “Oh, hello there. Can I help you?”

“He’s already been helped,” Myrtle declared.

“I want to see Jim Kirk,” Leonard said, ignoring the old biddy the way she had ignored him.

“Oh!” Betty said happily, “You must be the boyfriend!”

Leonard immediately began shaking his head in the negative.

“Jim doesn’t have family. He told me so,” Betty went on to say, giving a little sigh. Leonard wasn’t even certain what that sigh meant. “But he did say his boyfriend would ask to see him and he granted his permission for the visit!”

Myrtle May frowned severely. “Granted his permission?”

Leonard didn’t know if laughing would get him thrown out. He said somewhat sweetly, trying to take a page from Jim’s book, “I would sure love to see Jim now… I’ve been so worried.”

Myrtle narrowed her eyes at his obviously fake distress. Betty however nodded sympathetically, as if she couldn’t imagine not being worried over Jim.

“Excuse me,” a familiar voice interjected smoothly. “I wish to visit Mr. Jim Kirk also.”

Leonard turned around. “Spock! Where’d you come from?”

Spock lifted an eyebrow. “The parking garage. It is illegal to park in an emergency zone, Leonard.”

The young nurse’s eyes had grown as wide as quarters. Betty looked between them and said tentatively, “…I’m confused. Which one of you is the boyfriend?”

Leonard conceded “He is” at the same time Spock said, not missing a beat, “We both are.”

Betty’s face reddened. Myrtle muttered, “Dear lord” and put a hand to her temple.

Leonard couldn’t have spoken a word if he wanted to. Everything that came out of his mouth turned into a painfully embarrassing noise. If Jim were here, he thought, the kid would be so pleased with himself. Causing a scene even when he was half-dead. The idiot.

Spock quietly cleared his throat to end the awkward moment. “May we see Jim?”

Betty nodded. Myrtle rolled her eyes heavenward and turned her back on them all. The faint sound of her muttering was probably a prayer for their souls.

Leonard lengthened his stride to match Spock’s and asked in a low tone, so Betty wouldn’t overhear, “Are you crazy?”

“There is nothing amiss with my mental health, Leonard,” Spock replied. After a pause, at which Spock snuck a glance at Leonard, he asked, “Was my solution not… efficient?”

“It’s crazy, which is why I asked if you’re crazy! Good god, man, do you really think people’ll believe Jim has two boyfriends?” Paranoid, Leonard kept scanning the hallway for a lurking guard. Myrtle didn’t protest their claim, which was strange enough, but that didn’t mean she had no plans to call security on them.

Spock and McCoy pivoted around a corridor’s corner in sync and kept walking. Spock clasped his hands behind his back and remarked to Leonard, albeit with an equal awareness of Betty’s proximity, “I must admit some surprise that you have acknowledged Jim. Your communication with him earlier seemed… strained.”

“Just because I’m caught up in this mess, doesn’t mean I want him to die from blood loss or infection, Spock.” And I had to make certain y’all hadn’t left me behind, he didn’t add. “I was just going to see if he was comfortable.”

“I see.”

Leonard snorted. “Seems that was unnecessary on my part, since Jim’s well enough to seduce the nurses into taking his clothes off.” He winced at his poor choice of words. “Sorry, didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”

“You have not upset me.”

Leonard’s look was sharp, questioning, as he absorbed Spock’s calm countenance. “You aren’t upset, are you, Spock? It doesn’t bother you how Jim is, given your feelings for him?”

“Why should I want Jim to change his nature,” Spock said as they slowed, finally reaching their destination, “when it is that nature which initially attracted me to him?”

“But you feel jealousy.”

“Only for those who receive from Jim what I do not.”

Leonard lingered a few feet from the closed door to Jim’s room. Spock did as well. Betty, if she was nearby, was forgotten.

“Like me,” he said to Spock.

There came another pause. “I am not certain I am jealous of you, Leonard.”

Leonard could make no sense of that. He almost asked, out of sheer confusion, “How can that be?”

“I do not know,” Spock said in a soft undertone, though Leonard’s question had not been voiced.

Betty was pushing open the door to Jim’s room after a token tap of her knuckle against it. “Jim? Jim! I brought you two boyfriends!”

Leonard, upon hearing her giggle, despaired of the medical community in this town. He motioned for Spock to go first. “I’m gonna wait a minute, just to deflate his ego a little.”

That amused Spock for some reason.

“Spock, hey!” Jim’s voice rang through the doorway. He sounded a little wobbly, which was probably because the staff had doped him to the gills with pain medication. “Waait, w-where’s the… you said I get another boyfriend!”

Leonard smirked to himself and leaned against the wall beside the open door.

Then Jim loosed a nasally holler. “BONES!”

Betty poked her head around the doorframe. “Bones? Oh, there you are! C’mon on now, Mr. Bones, Jim wants you!”

Leonard would have rolled his eyes had he been given the time, but the giggly nurse happened to be very strong and very determined. She dragged him inside, and Leonard spent the rest of the afternoon trying to figure out what it was about Jim Kirk that made people strive to give him everything he wanted.

As soon as Spock stepped out of the room to retrieve the cup of water Jim had requested, Jim’s smile dropped away. He closed his eyes and said, “I really hate hospitals.”

“Who doesn’t?”

The murmur belonged to the man situated in the corner of the room, as far away as he could go to put distance between them without leaving the room, Jim suspected. Bones disliked him that much.

Silence invaded the space between them. Jim shifted restlessly on the bed; though he was sitting up to increase his airflow, his position did nothing to relieve him of the pain in his ribs. The morphine shot, while succeeding in making him dizzy, barely touched it.

“Anything you need?” McCoy asked him, no doubt seeing how uncomfortable he was.

“A time jump into the future?” he joked half-heartedly.

“Sorry, kid, not my specialty.”

Jim released a soft sigh and, eyes still closed, fingered the cotton blankets beneath his hands.

“Jim…”

Damn, here it came. This really wasn’t the perfect time to talk about the unsettled business between them.

“Why’d you give in?”

Jim opened his eyes in surprise. He looked at Leonard. “What?” Bones’ expression wasn’t very readable. Jim opted for a lie, just to see what would happen. “I decided to follow Spock’s advice.” He would have shrugged if it didn’t hurt.

The side of McCoy’s mouth quirked. “No, you didn’t. You’re sitting there hating every second of this. “

“I am,” Jim agreed.

“So why?”

“Because you were right, Bones.” Jim let his eyes track to the door, left partially open by Spock so the nurses could hear Jim if he called for assistance. “Bringing me here means something to Spock—even if I can’t agree with him about it.”

“He just wants you to be okay.”

Was that gentle voice really McCoy’s?

Jim swallowed against a feeling that was making his choice so much harder. “Do you?”

Silence again.

“Never mind. I don’t want the answer to that,” Jim said. “It’s these drugs. No filter.” Crap, even that chuckle hurt. Why did he fight a neanderthal? He’d have had better chances with a man-sized lizard.

“Jim?”

“Hrgh.” He meant what?

A hand touched his, tucked it under the blanket. “You’re really something, kid.”

Some time later, another voice, with a touch of alarm, whispered over Jim’s head. “Is he all right?”

“I think he needs a nap. He’s not going anywhere, Spock. At least, not for the night.”

“I had planned to stay.”

“I figured as much. But you haven’t eaten, right? There’s a place nearby, if you like Chinese.”

Chinese, Jim murmured. Moo gai pan. And egg rolls. Yum.

“Yes, Jim. Egg rolls for you when you wake up. C’mon, Spock.” Then that voice, McCoy’s rough-but-gentle voice, said something so faintly near his ear, he could barely keep a hold of it before it drifted away.

Jim zoned out for a long while. When he came to, it was to the distant sound of a door. There was silence, but in the silence the feeling of a presence. Spock’s, he identified without opening his eyes. Jim could tell the lights had been lowered in his room. Spock was probably sleeping then. Best to remain quiet, let the man rest.

He kept his eyes closed and tried hard to recall the last thing he heard. Bones saying a sentence, a small thing… It took him some time to collect all of the words, maybe an hour as he dozed on and off, but when he had them, he did not want to let them go.

I want you to be okay too, Jim, Bones had said.

It made things wonderful again… but also complicated. Jim honestly did not know what to do.

Next Part

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