Title: I Follow (4/4)
Author: klmeri
Fandom: Star Trek AOS
Characters: Sam Kirk, Jim Kirk, others
Summary: Sam wants nothing more than to save his brother, until the day he realizes Jim never needed him.
Previous Parts: 1 | 2 | 3

Make sure you have read Part Three!

“He failed.”

“Is he depressed?” Sam whispers into his comm, angling his body so the librarian cannot see him talking. Technically he is supposed to be studying for mid-year exams like every other senior who has even a glimmer of a wish to graduate. The instructors, oddly, of his classes are more gleeful than he has ever seen them. Maybe tortuous assignments and long-winded lectures are actually a hazing ritual for students preparing to enter active service in the Fleet. Sam has less nightmares about dying in space than he does about exam papers sucking the life force out of him.

McCoy’s snort of amusement can be heard by the cadets two tables away. They turn to glare in Sam’s direction at the interruption. “Failure doesn’t make Jim depressed. It makes him more determined to win.”

“I can talk to him,” Sam offers.

“What’re you gonna say that I haven’t, Sammy? Stop trying to beat an unbeatable test? Be glad Command is still tolerant of your insanity and hasn’t kicked you out on your ass?”

I’d say, Sam thinks, have you thought about re-writing the program? He probably shouldn’t mention that to Leonard, who likes to think Jim (and Sam) are restrained by moral compunction like normal people.

Evidently Leonard doesn’t expect Sam to answer. “No, it’s better not to poke the proverbial bear… but why don’t you stop by tonight? Maybe if we’re both getting drunk, Jim will get drunk too and forget about this Kobayashi Maru business.”

I doubt that. Sam is reminded of the time Jimmy ate nothing but Fruit Loops for a month because the box promised him a retro twenty-first century version of a Captain America sticker in return for the purchase of twenty boxes. “It might be awkward if I’m there.”

“Don’t you think it’s about time you two got over yourselves? It’s like y’all are twins—blue-eyed, pigheaded twins!” McCoy’s following “Hmph” relays what he really thinks about that. “I get off at eighteen-hundred. I’ll swing by your place then.”

Sam is left staring at a message on his comm that says call ended.

Someone clears his throat. Sam looks up to find the librarian’s attention upon him, the tiny row of eyes in his oblong face glaring. Meekly, he apologizes for disrupting the librarian’s domain and hunkers behind his textbook like he intends to make up for his bad behavior the rest of the day by being extra studious.

In actuality, Sam collects the rest of his belongings and departs the moment the librarian has left to terrorize the couple giggling behind some bookshelves. As he winds his way back to his room in his head he is developing a theory on how to break into the mainframe to take a look at that test which stands in his brother’s way. Wouldn’t it be something if Jimmy could show this entire Academy exactly why Kirks don’t believe in no-win scenarios?

Maybe there’s something Sam can do about that.

~~~

“So…” Sam says.

Jim’s fingers fidget on the end of a mostly full beer bottle. He has yet to look Sam in the eyes, even though they’ve been in the same room for over two hours.

Sam checks for the second time that Leonard is passed out across the table before he coughs pointedly. “So,” he begins again, “about that test…”

Jim looks across the room at some infinitesimal point no one but he can discern. “I’m going take it again.”

Sam is not sure why Jim thinks he needs to sound so defiant. “I wasn’t planning to tell you not to.”

Jim slants an unreadable look at him. “Pike said I shouldn’t.”

Sam almost laughs. “‘Course he did. How’s it going to look when a cadet shows up every man who ever made Captain and didn’t pass that stupid test?”

Now Sam’s brother is staring at him with interest. “You think I can pass it?”

Sam leans over the table, lowering his voice just in case Leonard’s snoring isn’t as real as it seems. (Though the drooling looks pretty real. Sam feels guilty about forcing that last drink on the unsuspecting man simply so he could talk to Jim about the Kobayashi Maru.) “Here’s the thing: I had a chance to look at the programming code behind the scenario, and it gave me an idea.”

Jim appears to forget that talking to Sam is a strange affair and inches forward to listen. That pleases Sam immensely, and he continues on to outline a subroutine he had in mind.

~~~

Jim passes the Kobayashi Maru with a broad grin on his face and a mouth full of apple.

The cadets who had placed odds on Jim’s ability to find a way around the no-win scenario are celebrating their newfound wealth at the local taverns of San Francisco, and those who thought it couldn’t be done are left scratching their heads in wonder. Sam hopes those idiots only have to learn this hard lesson once: never bet against James Tiberius Kirk.

For Sam’s part, he floats around campus looking extremely proud.

~~~

“This session has been called to resolve a troubling matter. James T. Kirk, step forward.”

Sam tries standing up but Jim’s hand is forcing him back into his seat under the pretense of needing Sam’s shoulder to leverage himself to his feet. On the opposite side of Jim, Leonard says his friend’s name. McCoy sounds grim and strangely resolved.

Jim’s smile is crooked and a complete bluff. “My fault, my problem, Bones.” Then Jim is sliding away from them through the row of seated cadets and down the auditorium steps to meet the demands of the tribune.

Sam’s fists flex as he watches his brother, undaunted, take a stand behind a podium. Barnett’s words are garbled accusations in his ears. He wants to go down there. He will go down there. He’ll tell those bastards who really dared to touch their precious test and—

Leonard takes Jim’s empty seat and drops his hand to Sam’s arm. “Don’t you move,” he warns Sam in a fierce undertone.

“I won’t let him do this.”

The look Leonard gives him is sardonic. “Since when do either of us let Jim do anything?” His voice has a sharp edge when he adds, “‘N before you throw yourself to the wolves, I ought to remind you that Jim took the test knowing full well what you had done.”

“He told you that?”

“Didn’t have to. I know his guilty face when I see it. My point is he’s got responsibility in this too.”

Sam jerks his arm out from under McCoy’s hard grip and half-rises from his seat. “Then why,” he says furiously, “am I not standing there with him?”

“You idiot, sit down!” Leonard latches onto the back of Sam’s uniform, yanking Sam back into the seat with surprising strength. The man whispers harshly, “You’re gonna keep your ass right there ’cause I promised Jim I’d stop you! You’re graduatin’ and gettin’ on one of those damn shuttles to Aurelan if it’s the last thing Jim and I do!”

“You asshole!” Sam snarls back.

Their anger with each other is diverted by the sound of Jim’s voice ringing clearly through the auditorium. Jim is saying, “I believe I have the right to face my accuser directly.”

A man—the only Vulcan Starfleet has in its employ—stands in the audience. Sam is certain he’s never hated anyone so much in his life. As if the object of his hatred knows how Sam currently loathes him, the Vulcan glances in Sam’s direction before he descends the stairs. The minute arch of his eyebrow could have been saying, Your emotional projection is out of control, Cadet Kirk. Did I teach you nothing?

“Who’s that pointy-eared bastard?” McCoy mutters.

Sam just grinds his teeth. He feels helpless watching while Jimmy’s argument is circumvented by Spock’s logic. Then Spock mentions their father’s heroic death, words perhaps not meant to wound but still skirting too close to the line. Jim doesn’t flinch, saying, “I don’t think you like the fact that I beat your test,” but Sam could stand up and scream.

At that point, Leonard produces a hypospray out of a side pocket and threatens to inject Sam with a concoction that could down an enraged elephant seal. “Don’t make me drug you in full view of your fans!”

“I’m going to tell them,” Sam grits out. “It’s not over until I tell them it was me.”

Leonard opens his mouth to argue but doesn’t have the chance. An aide had handed Barnett a message, and now the Admiral relays the distress call from Vulcan, a broadcast that will in a matter of minutes spread like wildfire from the auditorium to the whole of the campus. The hearing is summarily dismissed and all personnel including the cadets are told to report to Shuttle Hangar One.

Sam and McCoy fight their way through the traffic of red-uniformed cadets flowing toward the exits; some of the cadets see Sam barreling down the stairs in an effort to reach the bottom of the auditorium and flatten themselves to the side so they aren’t run over.

Sam immediately shoves a finger into his brother’s chest when he is range to do so. “You’re not getting expelled because of me, Jimmy!”

Jim stiffens at Sam’s accusatory tone, and his look turns challenging. “Who says it’s because of you?” he retorts.

Sam squares his shoulders and mirrors Jim’s stance. To the side of them, Leonard snaps, “For god’s sake, are you both deaf? Now is not the time for a pissing contest!”

His attention is only for his brother—the brother he lost once and refuses to lose again. “You are not leaving this time,” he pronounces with painful clarity, swept up in a sweet rage and a bitter fear. “I will not let you.”

Something shifts in his brother’s face then, a recognition, an understanding. “Sam.”

“If you try…” Sam lets the threat hang in the air between them.

Jim smiles slowly. “I won’t.”

Can he trust in that answer? A demand has to be met first. “Promise me.“

Jim reaches out to touch Sam, hesitating mid-way through the act but in the end settling his hand at the curve of Sam’s shoulder. “Okay, I promise.”

The relief he feels is so strong it cannot be expressed with words. He blinks and blames the overhead lighting for blinding him enough to bring tears to his eyes. Jimmy, he realizes, must be affected by the light too.

“Just great!” Leonard shouts in their ears. The interruption is almost like a physical knock to their heads. “Congratulations on your goddamned, very poorly timed reconciliation!”

Sam and Jim look at the incensed McCoy.

“We’re in a goddamn crisis!”

“Oh,” Sam says.

“Oops,” Jim echoes the sentiment.

They take off toward the shuttle hangar at a dead run.

~~~

A Commander Sam can’t place by name is reading off the ship assignments. He barely hears his own name and where he is supposed to go because he is holding his breath for his brother’s name. Jim technically shouldn’t be sent into space if he’s on academic suspension but still Sam feels antsy, worried. He is torn between wanting Jim to stay grounded and also wanting Jim to experience his first moment on a Fleet vessel at Sam’s side.

The Commander wishes everyone godspeed and then the group around Sam is breaking up, murmuring goodbyes to one another and filing toward the shuttles that will take them to the docking station orbiting Earth. Sam sees McCoy curse under his breath and follow Jim’s dash after the Commander to find out why his name wasn’t on the roster.

As the Commander answers Jim’s question Jim stills, the very line of his body suddenly dejected. That has Sam pushing his way toward his brother.

Leonard is saying as Sam approaches, “…board’ll rule in your favor. Most likely.” McCoy glances at Sam. “Look, Jim, I got to go.”

Sam stops next to his brother and offers his hand to McCoy without planning to say anything. But somehow the words are there when he needs them most, and a snap decision is made. “Good luck up there.” He can feel Jim’s confusion.

Maybe Leonard is confused too. “You were assigned a ship, Sam.”

“Sure,” Sam agrees mildly, “but your job will be harder than mine, I imagine—especially if you’re tending to a terribly sick patient.”

Leonard just looks at him funny and turns away, cutting across the hangar for the nearest shuttle. Sam waits, slightly nervous beneath his calm features, and is immensely relieved when McCoy’s stride falters at the steps of the shuttle. Glad McCoy finally picked up on the suggestion before it was too late, Sam turns to his brother. He hesitates.

Jim looks at him, jaw rigid because of a decision he doesn’t like that he has to accept and unhappiness in his eyes. But Aurelan was right; there is no (and maybe never was) blame.

It’s okay now, Sam wants to tell him. Instead he warns his brother softly, “I’m going to hug you.”

Jim loses his lost look for a moment. “Huh?”

Sam figures it’s the best invitation he might ever have so he takes it, heart pounding. The hug is brief—far too brief and somewhat stiff—but it settles some things inside Sam that have been grating together for a long time. When the brothers pull apart, they don’t look at each other and rub at their noses.

“Going now,” Sam murmurs.

“Yeah,” Jim says, and the answer is given absently because McCoy is crossing back in their direction and Jim is probably wondering why.

“Goodbye, Jimmy.”

“Bye,” his brother answers, the echo of the word drowned out by a startled squawk of “Bones, where are we going?”

Sam watches his brother being dragged away, for once at peace with himself. Leonard knows how to care for Jim, and Sam trusts that he will. Pike too, because Pike will recognize the value of having Jim onboard the USS Enterprise. If Sam’s lucky, this parting of theirs will be brief.

Then he goes to the shuttle that will take him to the first starship he will have ever set foot on, wondering what the USS Antares will meet when she faces the unknown.

The End

Related Posts:

• I Follow (3/4) – from February 1, 2013
• I Follow (2/3) – from January 25, 2013
• I Follow (1/3) – from January 23, 2013