Title: We, the Wallflowers
Author: klmeri
Fandom: Star Trek TOS
Characters: Spock, McCoy
Summary: Sometimes there is more fun to be had off the dance floor. Leonard doesn’t mind.

As he locates an empty chair by shielding his eyes from the crazy strobes of light and settles into it, one man says to another, “Well, this is just plain awkward.”

The other person has been situated in his seat for a very long time. He hardly stirs at this new addition to his surroundings and does not bother to remove his attention from the orderly trot of mathematical formulae across the screen of the padd in his lap.

Leonard McCoy’s body relaxes into its customary slouch and, after another beat of silence, he prods at the Vulcan next to him with one bony elbow. “Do you think you can ignore me all evening?”

Spock’s response is a noncommittal lift of his eyebrow.

Leonard crosses his arms with a hmph and a “Fine.” He falls silent and turns his head to inspect the different crowds of people hovering at the edges of the large ballroom. Being restrained, whether by silence or movement, isn’t his forte and in the next moment his knee begins to bounce. “So…” he drawls, tilting his head unconsciously in Spock’s direction, “you do this often?”

Spock’s exhalation of breath is marginally more stressed than the breath that preceded it. “Doctor, is there a particular reason why you are here?”

Leonard twists at the waist to counter, “Hey, that’s my question! I was wondering why you’re here.”

“I meant,” Spock clarifies, “why have you chosen to socialize in this corner of the ballroom? However I will acknowledge your question—and I can only say I was told my presence, or lack thereof, to this event would not be the proper fulfillment of my duties as First Officer.”

Leonard grins a little. “Jim’s mighty persuasive when he wants to be.”

“Indeed.” Spock says no more and returns his attention to his data padd.

A cheer and laughter break out across the room, drawing Leonard’s attention back to the dance floor. One couple sweeps by, then another in a daisy chain of people. Leonard’s gaze follows a familiar figure through an energetic twist-and-turn. As Jim Kirk bends down to whisper in his partner’s ear, his eyes are shining.

Leonard shifts uncomfortably in the hard plastic of the chair. “I’m tired just watching ’em.” His eyes find the flushed face of Kirk again. “Exactly how many dosey-does can he do in a row?”

“If you are referring to a dance routine, then the answer is eleven point four.”

“Eleven point four?”

“The Captain tripped during one of the eight-beat measures and caused a minor spectacle.”

Tickled by the thought of a ‘spectacle’ because Spock’s habit of understating things can only mean it was frighteningly funny, Leonard laughs. “I’m sorry I missed it!”

“I assume the officer with whom the Captain was dancing at the time and whose skirt he subsequently tore in a revealing way does not feel the same.”

“Oh,” Leonard says, wincing. “The poor girl.”

“Mm.”

The ensuing silence lasts less than a full minute.

“Spock—”

“Doctor,” Leonard is interrupted, “please, I cannot concentrate if you continue to talk.”

There is a pause as Spock considers the way Leonard’s head dips forward and his blue eyes flash.

“…I apologize, but I must tell you that this conversation between us is entirely unnecessary. If you will look to your left—no, to the other side, Doctor McCoy—approximately ten meters from the entrance and a thirty-six degree angle from the decorative foliage, you will notice a group of females.”

Leonard eyes them, caught between curious and wary. “So?”

“Those are your potential dance partners. Your arrival attracted their attention, and I believe they are waiting for you to show interest in one of them.” Having completed his civic duty, as it were, Spock reactivates the screen of the padd.

For a long minute, Leonard does not stir. When he does finally move, it is to purse his lips and casually stretch out his arm. It is some seconds after that arm lands on the back of Spock’s chair and gives no indication of removing itself, that Spock lifts his head and turns an inquiring look upon the man.

“Don’t ask,” Leonard says promptly. “Let’s just say I’m giving a clear signal I don’t wanna dance.”

“…I see.”

Leonard huffs out a small laugh. “Listen, all you really need to know, Spock, is that there are two kinds of people: the kind, like Jim, who enjoy dancing with all the pretty ladies and making spectacles of themselves, and kind who’d rather not.”

“I see,” Spock says this time with more understanding.

“So you go on back to readin’, I’ll talk to myself like the funny old man I am, and we’ll just fade right in with the rest of the wallflowers. No harm done.”

The Vulcan, perhaps seeing no reason to argue with this logic, goes back to staring at the padd in his lap. Leonard’s shoulders twitch as he exhales, and his eyes automatically gravitate to the center of the room and the twirling, happy-looking couples. The color, lights, and noise of the ballroom cocoon around them.

Leonard exhales again, closing his eyes briefly, only to hear the telltale sound of a data padd going offline. He blinks and sits up in his chair. “Spock?”

Spock folds his hands over the dark screen of the padd. “It would be less worrisome for the staff if you held a conversation with someone other than yourself.”

Leonard blinks a second time, makes sense of this offer, and finds himself grinning all over again. His arm reflexively hugs the back of Spock’s chair. “Why, I’m touched, Spock. You like me!”

“Your ability to read into a simple gesture of kindness is unparalleled, Doctor.”

“I didn’t hear a ‘no’ in there.”

“The denial is implied,” replies Spock dryly.

“Just ’cause you said that…” Leonard scoots his chair an inch closer to his companion’s and lets his grin widen.

“Leonard, I must warn you—”

“Uh-uh, be careful what you say now… Those ladies by that gigantic fern already think somethin’s going on over here.”

“If by ‘something’ you mean the invasion of my personal space, that is correct.”

“Just be glad I’ve haven’t gone down on one knee and begged for a dance.” The threat is followed by McCoy’s cackling.

“The perversity of your humor is, as always, quite illogical.”

“Perverse! Why you—”

“Doctor,” Spock rides right over Leonard’s sputtering, “it appears our ‘invisibility’ has worn off. The Captain is heading in this direction.”

Leonard looks at Spock. Spock looks at Leonard. Between them, they are calculating the likelihood Jim Kirk’s dancing skills include a three-partner hoe-down.

“Do you know how to waltz?” Leonard asks suddenly.

“Affirmative.”

The doctor tugs the First Officer to his feet. “Then dust off your Vulcan dancing shoes, Mr. Spock, and get us out that door fast, or we’re never gonna be able to look our subordinates in the eyes again.”

Spock complies without the expected protests and much to Leonard’s delight has a quickstep that will become the talk of the ship for many months. Leonard winks at a stunned Captain Kirk as they sail past, and their great escape out of the ballroom is followed by a smattering of applause.

Of course, if Jim later gets his revenge by volunteering his second-in-command and chief medical officer for an impromptu show dance at a diplomatic dinner that involves a host of Federation ambassadors (including Spock’s father), well, that’s another story for another time.

-Fini

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