Title: Fun Comes In All Forms
Author: klmeri
Fandom: Star Trek AOS
Pairing: Kirk/Spock/McCoy
Summary: Three fun (silly) drabbles about being in a three-way relationship.
A/N: I thought maybe I’d write some actual K/S/M this time around.

#1

“I thought we had this conversation, Bones.”

Leonard ignores the warning and shoves the hat onto Jim’s head then tugs it down to the man’s ears to make certain it’s securely in place. “You sunburn too easy. You need it.”

“I can’t see,” comes the inevitable complaint as Jim lifts up the floppy brim which is hiding his eyes. “This is ridiculous.”

“You know what’s ridiculous, kid? You looking like a lobster that crawled out of a steam pot. Now shut up and let’s get a move on.” Leonard does a half-turn, calling out, “Spock, we’re ready!” Jim starts tugging at the hat, and Leonard slaps his hands away without looking. “SPOCK!” he yells this time, already impatient. “GODDAMN IT, IF WE MISS THE—”

“We will not miss the shuttle, Leonard,” replies the Vulcan entering the main cabin of their rented quarters through the bathroom. “Also, the increase in your volume was quite unnecessary. My hearing—”

“Is superior to that of a human’s, yada yada.” Giving Jim a shove forward, Leonard orders Spock, “Keep an eye on that hat. He’ll shake it off like a dog at the first opportunity.”

“You did not just compare me to a dog. Shit, where am I going?”

Jim staggers to the left toward a wall instead of the door until Spock graciously intervenes and takes over guiding him.

In their wake, Leonard lingers in the room and glances around, trying to determine if he has forgotten any of the essentials for a day in the sun. He supposes not and re-adjusts the strap of his beach bag.

“Bones!” he hears the aggravated cry from the hall. “This is fucking ridiculous!”

Leonard snickers to himself and steps through the open doorway. The door slides closed at his back and locks.

Maybe next time, he thinks, Jim won’t be so stupid to talk about all the gorgeous bodies to be ogled on a favored intergalactic beachfront, especially not while in the company of his lovers. Even a Vulcan can feel a little jealous now and then, and Leonard knows how to use that to his advantage.

If things go the way he believes they will, the hat may very well stay on Jim’s head until the end of vacation. And he’s completely okay with that.

#2

Spock is contemplating Bones’ back. Jim is contemplating Spock.

“You could apologize,” he offers.

Spock turns his considering stare upon Jim.

“Or,” Jim says, “you could just kiss him. That works too. He’s terrible at staying mad if there’s kissing involved.”

“I heard that!” There is a pause. “And I’m not letting that green-blooded bastard near me!”

Jim gives a sage nod to Spock and makes a little shooing motion. Spock locks his hands behind his back, drops his head ever-so-slightly forward with the air of the resigned and goes over to McCoy.

“Leonard.”

“Nope, not hearing it.“

“I apologize.”

“I don’t believe you!”

Spock looks back at Jim. Jim mouths, Kiss him!

Spock places a hand on McCoy’s shoulder and turns him around. Then he holds up his hand for a Vulcan kiss. Jim closes his eyes and heaves a sigh of dismay (and no little amount of impatience) but when he opens his eyes again, Leonard has a two-fisted grip on the front of Spock’s black undershirt—and he definitely has his mouth pressed firmly to Spock’s.

Jim figures this is a win. With a noise of approval, he climbs back into bed and announces, “Okay, people, we still have three hours left before alpha shift. I feel optimistic that we can make it this time. No more interruptions, just sleep!”

Leonard lets go of most of Spock, except one hand, and trails back to the bed with the Vulcan in tow. The man does appear mollified even though he says, “I think this one’s a bust, Jim. We’ll have to try again tomorrow night.”

Jim resolutely ignores the pessimism by grabbing the nearest pillow and pretending to fall asleep. But only seconds pass in silence until he hears, “Wait, why do I have to be in the middle?” Spock says something back, something too tactless and Vulcan. Jim can feel Leonard stiffen in indignation without having to open his eyes.

This is when he privately admits defeat and settles for putting the pillow over his head, knowing in another minute he’ll have to get back up, translate for Spock and soothe ruffled feathers for McCoy.

#3

Spock is in general a trusting person. He trusts his captain, his colleagues, and his subordinates. He trusts those few individuals he considers to be friends. And most importantly, he trusts the two people with whom he lives. He trusts them implicitly, he believes.

But this…

This is not logical.

He regards the article of clothing which one of his grinning lovers is holding out to him. “Jim, I cannot wear that.”

“You totally can,” Jim disagrees.

Though he has kept his silence up until this point, Leonard joins in. “C’mon, Spock. It’s not that bad.”

“The message is illogical.”

Leonard plucks at his own t-shirt. “It’s a joke. You know what joking is.”

“To whom is the arrow pointing?” Spock isn’t merely curious. He is apprehensive about the answer, too.

Leonard shifts his position accordingly—until the thick black arrow on his shirt is pointing at Jim. “See? Now it’s pointing directly at Stupid.”

Jim just keeps grinning, as if he isn’t upset at all for being labeled this.

“And why is it not considered offensive?”

“Spock, we love you.” Jim reaches out and squeezes his arm. “This is a couple’s thing. The shirt is really saying, ‘I love this person for all his faults.'”

“Technically, Jim, the shirt says ‘I’m With Stupid.'” He thinks on this for some seconds. “Do you mean to imply I have faults?”

As Leonard’s mouth drops open, Jim turns to look at Leonard. Spock is not certain what their silent exchange is about so he asks, “Have I said something wrong?”

It isn’t until Leonard’s gaze drops to Jim’s shirt then tracks back to Spock that Spock realizes exactly to whom the black arrow on Jim’s t-shirt is pointing.

He blinks and makes an executive decision. “I will take it.”

Without a word, Jim hands the shirt over.

Spock turns for the door.

“Wait,” calls Leonard, “where are you going?”

“To the shop where you purchased the shirts. If I am to wear one, it must be indiscriminate. Currently, it is not.”

“What?” echoes Leonard.

Jim is the one to argue, “Spock, there’s nothing wrong with it.”

“Jim, it has one arrow. I have two humans.” Spock allows for a moment so that they may absorb this explanation. “Therefore I will have it adjusted to show two arrows.” He inclines his head slightly in parting. “You may commence with lunch. I should return within the hour.”

Since the silence in the room is profound, Spock assumes his partners agree with his assessment and leaves to have the shirt altered. Strangely, though, when he comes back with the clothing that is supposed to acknowledge he is in a relationship with two unique individuals, Jim and Leonard are no longer wearing the shirts they seemed so enamored of.

Spock needs only one look at their faces to conclude it might be prudent not to ask why.

-Fini

Related Posts:

• Its Name is Destiny – from March 8, 2011
• Color Me a Vulcan – from October 30, 2010
• The Skiff – from February 8, 2012
• The Unhappy Holiday – from December 21, 2011
• Sometimes Pants Are For Wearing; Sometimes Not – from August 24, 2011