Title: Ready, Set, RUN! (4/?)
Author: klmeri
Fandom: Star Trek AOS
Characters: Kirk, Spock, McCoy
Summary: Playtime!verse one-shot, set between Playtime and The Good Life. Pike spends a weekend with the boys.
Previous Part: 1 | 2 | 3

My personal deadline for my Black Jewels Big Bang fic is next weekend. I’ll be splitting my writing attention this week. Ye be warned.

Part Four

“Hold still.”

Jimmy flails his limbs like a beetle on its back.

Pike curses in his head mainly because a certain McCoy with a penchant for loving bad language is hanging over his shoulder. Spock is seated on the rug, eyes closed in a meditation pose. One of these days, Christopher is determined to ask Spock for lessons; Hell, he’d pay a very generous amount right about now. It’s no surprise that Vulcans never appear stressed.

“Jimmy, stay still!” He grabs the ankle of the foot trying to dent his chest.

“But it hurts!” whines the boy. “Ow! Ow ow ow ow—!”

“I’m betting that he can keep that hollering up for at least another half hour,” Jon interjects as he hands Pike a bottle of rubbing alcohol. At the sight of it, Jimmy increases his volume.

Seriously, how is Spock meditating through this?

“Please, Jimmy, please! You aren’t helping!” Pike tries again to put the tweezers he is holding within range of the boy’s foot.

The neighbors are going to think that Pike is beating the child within an inch of his life. If police sirens were to sound outside his house, he’d gladly walk past the cops, straight to the squad car and climb in the back.

“I have to remove the staple, James. Now, don’t move!”

Jimmy whimpers.

A calm voice tells Kirk, “You amplify pain by anticipating it, Captain. Might I suggest that you… turn your mind elsewhere at this time?”

“Yes, listen to Spock,” Pike says.

Jimmy sniffs and turns his head in Spock’s direction. “But it’s gonna hurt worse.”

“Affirmative.”

“Y’all are being stupid.” McCoy crawls around Pike to peer into Jimmy’s face. “Now listen here, Jimmy, it’s supposed to hurt because there are nerves and stuff that tell your brain there’s a staple in your foot.”

The boy blinks.

McCoy says, rather succinctly, “But if you let Mr. Pike take out the staple, it’ll hurt less—otherwise you’re stupid, your foot’ll hurt until it turns ugly green and drops off, and I ain’t gonna play with you no more.”

Pike isn’t sure which part of that explanation/threat works on Jimmy, but the blond-headed child goes limp and says easily enough, “Okay.” Then, “Bones?” and reaches for Lenny.

Lenny sighs, aggrieved at the request, and pats Jimmy’s head. “I’m here, dummy.” McCoy tells Pike, “Get it out now, won’t cha?”

Pike doesn’t have to be told twice. He lifts Jimmy’s left foot, plucks out the offensive staple which the boy had trod on at some point after McCoy left a trail of them into the bathroom. Then, not saying a word, he dabs the bottom of Jimmy’s foot with a swab of alcohol, and after that leans over to brush the tears from the child’s cheeks with his thumbs. “It’s alright. You did good, son.”

Jimmy sniffles once and is done with paltry emotion because Lenny is still patting his head. Kirk sits up and says, “I’m injured.”

Lenny stops patting his friend. “Nuh-huh. You’re fixed.”

“Bones, I’m injuuured. ‘N I get ice cream.”

Good God, what is it with ice cream? Pike isn’t sure that he stocked enough at this rate of demand.

Young McCoy considers that. Spock, too, has opened both of his eyes to stare at his Captain in consideration of this announcement. When Lenny climbs to his feet with the deduction, “That’s right. I seen lots of kids at the hospital ‘n they’re always eating ice cream,” and runs into the next room, Pike’s brain needs only a moment to draw a very terrible conclusion. He says, rather bellows actually, to Jon, “After him! Lenny, LENNY, DON’T YOU DARE HURT YOURSELF FOR ICE CREAM—”

Jonathan has already disappeared in hot pursuit.

Pike points at Jimmy. “Don’t move from this spot until I come back.” To Spock, he says, “I hope you understand that it is illogical to harm oneself for a treat.”

The Vulcan stares at him and takes slightly too long to reply. “Affirmative, Admiral.”

“Got him!” comes Archer’s voice. “He’s fine, just—wait, put that down, kid—Hey, hammers are not toys! OWW—SHIT!”

Pike finds Archer with a thumb in his mouth and a hammer by his feet. Lenny has abandoned the hammer in search of a better weapon in the open toolbox. He strides over to the dark-haired boy, closes the toolbox his idiot friend had brought into the house, and tucks it under his arm.

Lenny frowns. “I need that, Mr. Pike.”

“No, you don’t. As Mr. Archer said—” Jon is inspecting his thumb and muttering about budding psychotics. “—these tools are not toys. You can’t play with them.”

“Won’t gonna play,” insists McCoy.

That’s what he is afraid of. He puts a hint of parental steel into his voice. “When I say no, I mean it, mister. If you refuse to abide by my rules, then I will call your mother and you will go home early.”

Lenny looks at him as if that possibility had not occurred to the child. The scowl drops from his face and he says with all seriousness, “I’m sorry, Mr. Pike. I wanna stay with Jimmy ‘n Spock.”

When Lenny’s shoulders droop, Pike is mollified. “Alright, I believe you. But remember, I know what’s best and you need to listen to me. Okay?”

McCoy nods.

He sighs. “Go back into the living room.” When McCoy is at the doorway, Pike calls out, “Lenny!”

The boy cocks an ear.

“You can tell Jimmy that he won’t be having ice cream tonight.”

McCoy argues, “That’s not fair, Mr. Pike. He’s hurt.”

“Yes, but I daresay he is already recovered from the shock of it. Go on now.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Pike kneels next to Archer once Lenny has left. “Quit being a baby and let me see.”

“Damn, it stings,” grunts the man.

He gives the thumb a cursory glance—no blood or missing skin—and grins at his friend. “You want Chris to kiss it and make it all better?”

Archer is not amused. “Bite me.”

“Grumpy.”

“Jackass.”

“Geezer.”

Jon asks, “Do you think McCoy noticed the scotch on the table?”

They stare at the nightstand.

“I do not want to be responsible for the consequences of turning these children into drunks,” Pike states firmly. “Pour the rest down the sink.”

“It’s expensive!”

“And we’re asking for trouble by leaving it there.”

Jon slowly straightens, groaning about the ache of his knees. “If I have join the sobriety club, then you have to swear that you’ll propose to Winona by the end of the month.”

Pike’s mouth drops open. “How did you—”

Archer grins, his smashed thumb forgotten. “Saw it in your sock drawer. For Christ’s sake, Christopher, you are the most predictable boyfriend in the universe.”

“Since when do you need to rifle through my sock drawer?” demands Pike.

Jon tilts his head in an odd imitation of Spock. “I always know where your things are. It’s my job.” Before Pike can retort, Archer adds, “Though why you didn’t just leave it there…”

“Wait, what?”

“I looked last night. Where did you move it to? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I was afraid Jimmy would find it and swallow it—”

“Jon,” Pike says horrified, “I didn’t move the ring!”

Jon stares at him. “Shiiiit.”

Pike couldn’t have said it better himself.

Next Part

Related Posts:

• Ready, Set, RUN! (9/9) – from February 18, 2011
• Ready, Set, RUN! (8/?) – from February 16, 2011
• Ready, Set, RUN! (7/?) – from February 10, 2011
• Ready, Set, RUN! (6/?) – from February 3, 2011
• Ready, Set, RUN! (5/?) – from January 31, 2011