Title: Sticks and Stones (7/?)
Author: klmeri
Fandom: Star Trek AOS
Pairing: Kirk/Spock/McCoy
Summary: Sequel to Many Bells Down; Riverside ‘verse AU. Khan is hell-bent on destroying everything and everyone James Kirk cares about until Jim surrenders the most important person of all—himself.
Previous Part: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

Part Six

Jim has no answers. Never before in his life has he felt so helpless; never before has he been unable to plan a counterattack, to find a way to fight back. This is such a shock to Jim, such a contradiction to his belief that he can win no matter the odds or the opponent, it threatens to reform his world. And even now, he rails against change, clinging to the edges of a precipice which terrifies him beyond imagining.

The arms around his body tighten their hold. Jim responds by painfully gripping the back of Leonard’s shirt, certain if he lets go nothing will ever be the same again.

“Jim, you’re scarin’ me.” The husky tone of McCoy’s voice is infused with concern. “What’s the matter?”

“Bones…” Jim buries his nose against Leonard’s neck and breathes in deeply.

Leonard’s arms loosen, and one of his hands begins to trace a slow path up and down Jim’s spine. “Jim,” the man whispers, and he sounds pained, “you’ve got to tell me what’s wrong. I’ll do anything you want, anything if… Just talk to me?” He ends with a plea.

Jim sighs and lightly presses his lips to a spot of Bones’ exposed skin in apology before easing back. “Am I freaking you out that much?”

“Yes!”

He tries to untangle his limbs from Leonard’s but they seem to have a mind of their own; or it could be that Leonard’s grip has turned hard and won’t release him. “No, you don’t,” McCoy rumbles. “It isn’t fair for you to run away this time. We’ll stay in this room as long as it takes to talk.”

Jim opens his mouth to protest.

“I don’t care,” Leonard interrupts. “I’ll tell Chapel to send everybody home.”

He should have never come to the clinic to have a meltdown. “We can talk at home,” Jim disagrees, realizing how selfish he is to keep Bones from his patients. “It can wait ’till then, Bones.”

“Can it?” comes the soft question. “I don’t think so. You look like you’ve had the wind knocked out of you.” The man shifts him toward a chair. “Sit down, darlin’.”

Jim tugs his wrist away from McCoy, frowning. “Are you taking my pulse?”

“You were a stone’s throw from hyperventilation.”

“I did not panic,” Jim says, straightening in his chair.

Leonard looks at him, mouth quirked but eyes serious. “I’m not arguing with you about what I know.” There is a pregnant pause. “So, are you going to explain what’s going on or should I roust Spock outta his study?”

It’s amazing how imposing their boyfriend can seem when Spock deems it necessary. Jim wonders if maybe there isn’t a touch of a wildly frightening man within Spock, one simply waiting for the right provocation to surface and scare the shit out of everyone. Jim is mildly surprised he hasn’t pissed Spock off to that level yet.

Under Leonard’s unwavering stare, Jim fidgets in his seat like a two-year old. “Bones.“

“We have all day. In fact, I’ve changed my mind. I won’t tell Chapel to cancel appointments. I’ll bring you with me. You can play the intern.” Leonard looks smug. “If memory serves, old man Harris is next and he’ll be needing a prostate exam.”

Horrified is not an accurate description for Jim’s expression. Fairly certain Bones isn’t joking about the ‘intern’ threat, Jim decides to be a wise boyfriend—he talks. “Khan wants to make a deal.”

The sudden thundercloud darkening McCoy’s face is not a surprise. “That son of a bitch has been messing with you again?” Leonard almost demands.

Jim reaches out and squeezes Leonard’s shoulders to remind him not to yell. “We talked. Nothing else, I swear.” Now would be a bad time to mention Frank, Jim thinks.

Leonard, no less unhappy, leans into Jim. “What’s the bastard playing at?”

Jim quietly confesses what it is Khan wants him to do. He is prepared for Bones to rage about it; he is prepared to prevent McCoy from storming out to hunt Khan down. He doesn’t expect heavy silence. Concerned, Jim questions, “Bones?”

At last Leonard speaks. “It’s an asshole tactic, Jim, but…”

Stunned, Jim pulls back. “You—you think I should do it?”

“No,” the doctor answers immediately. Then, turning away to rake a hand through his hair, he adds, “I don’t want you do it, Jim, but I see how it might help things.”

“Help? Help?” Jim cries incredulously. He abandons sitting in the chair in order to stand at eye-level with Bones. “The only thing it will do is free Khan from suspicion so he can take my town!”

“Jim—”

He voices his worst fear. “I’ll be handing over my friends and family to him on a silver platter, Bones. HOW DOES THAT HELP ANYBODY?” A part of him whispers anxiously of doubts, wondering why Bones won’t look at him.

“Jim, calm down. I need to say something.”

“Am I going to like what I hear?” he snaps, then instantly regrets it.

“No, you won’t,” McCoy tells him, finally turning so they face each other.

Sudden terror has Jim reining in his temper.

“Jim,” begins his boyfriend, “promise to hear me out. No throwing punches until I’m done explaining, okay?”

The joke falls flat. Jim’s anxiety ratchets up another notch. He nods his assent, throat too dry for words.

Leonard’s sigh is grim. “Jim, about my job…”

The hedging… Jim simply can’t stand it. He plunges ahead of McCoy, unaware of how hoarse he sounds. “You’re going to work for Khan, aren’t you?”

Leonard’s face pales, as though hearing the words from Jim’s mouth makes them too real. “Yes.” Quickly, “Jim, how did you—?”

Jim mimics folding his arms out of a need for comfort. “Keep going,” Jim urges, thinking that if he doesn’t hear the rest of the explanation, the reasoning behind this mad idea, he… well, he cannot fathom what might happen to him—to him and Bones—but he knows it will be devastating for them both.

“I’m going to bring him down, Jim,” Bones says in a rush of words, “from the inside. There’s simply no way to fight Khan as we are now, not that I can see; we’re at a severe disadvantage. I don’t want to watch him ruin lives, knowing I have no power to stop him. Even if I have to play his best goddamn friend in order to get dirt on him, I’ll do it, Jim. …Even i-if you and I have to pretend to hate each other…” He falters, swallowing hard. “Please say you understand.”

Jim does understand, too easily. Bones is in a position to infiltrate Eugenics in a way Jim isn’t and can never be because of his public enmity with Khan Noonien Singh. But the very idea of using Leonard that way, of asking him to play such a foul, traitorous game and live every day in danger of discovery, makes Jim sick to his stomach.

“Have you signed a contract yet?”

“Tomorrow,” Bones whispers, sagging slightly.

Jim holds onto Leonard’s shoulders, not sure if he is supporting Leonard or himself. “Don’t do it, Bones.”

“What else can we do?”

“I don’t know,” he answers, quietly panicking beneath the calm of his words. “But stall the paperwork until I can think of something.” If you sign yourself over to Khan, how can I save you then?

Leonard merely shakes his head, a gesture that, to Jim, is worryingly too vague to be either a confirmation or a denial.

Jim is restless all night until an idea, quite horrific in its simple, cruel nature, presents itself; thereafter he spends an hour in the bathroom fighting nausea and wetting his face with cold water. Yet the idea refuses to go away, and the person known as James Kirk becomes a progressively more desperate man as time slips past on his alarm clock and the night wanes. He dresses quietly in his bedroom and, more quietly, sneaks out of the apartment he shares with Bones just an hour after dawn.

Khan plans to take Bones away. A true enemy would want to pay Mr. Singh in kind. There is only one person Jim can think of that Khan might hate to lose.

Jim knows Gaila’s habits as well as she knows his. On early mornings, she likes to run through the park by her housing complex. When they were seeing each other, Jim would join her for some of those morning runs, and vice versa if she stayed at his place. Even now, as friends, they maintain a somewhat regular routine as running partners. Or they did up until Khan’s appearance, that is.

Jim wonders if Khan is her partner now. The thought strikes him hard, and he almost bypasses the entrance to the park. As badly as he needs to see his friend, he doesn’t want to discover that Khan has so thoroughly replaced him in her life.

If you happen to see Gaila at all, Jim reminds himself with a shake. There is no guarantee she continues to come here. It’s not as though Jim would know how she entertains herself these days.

Bitter, he pulls up the hood of his runner’s jacket and starts out with a slow walk along the trail carved into the park’s trimmed grass. The sun has crested the horizon by the time he reaches the dead end of the trail. Gaila is obviously not here. With a sinking heart, Jim turns around and begins the trek back to his motorcycle, unwilling to admit how disappointed he is. Only a jackass would be so eager to ruin his ex-girlfriend’s life. Jim has neither wanted to be that kind of person nor imagined he would find himself forced into the role.

Distracted by these thoughts, it takes Kirk a moment too long to realize he is being followed. He stops walking and, almost as quickly, the footsteps behind him halt as well. He turns around, freeing his hands to fight, and expects to find someone like Rand haunting his steps.

It isn’t one of Khan’s thugs, however, who greets him.

“Spock! What are you doing here?”

From beneath the brim of a black bowler hat, dark eyes consider him. “Might I ask you the same question, Jim?”

Pulling off his hood, Jim blinks at Spock in the morning light. “I’m exercising.” Any other explanation might sound like he’s looking for trouble. Upon observing Spock’s polished footwear, Jim adds, “But I take it that’s not why you’re out.”

Spock tucks his hands securely in a knee-length, wool overcoat and moves to stand abreast of Jim. “I find it most interesting you chose this location for your morning jog. Have you tired of your regular route?”

Jim recognizes fishing when he hears it, especially coming from Spock, who can sound politely inquiring while grilling a witness at court. He tries not to appear too defensive when he asks, “Why are you following me?”

“Breakfast” is Spock’s smooth reply.

Jim opens his mouth and winds up closing it when he can think of nothing to say. He scratches at an imaginary itch behind one ear. The minute lift of the corner of Spock’s mouth is a sign of amusement. Spock begins to walk along the trail again and Jim has no choice but to follow him.

“Breakfast,” Spock explains, “was my intended surprise for you and Leonard this morning. It was coincidental of course when I happened to arrive at your residence as you were leaving it.”

“So you followed me,” Jim finishes, matching Spock’s long strides.

“Precisely.”

He supposes this should perturb him but Jim is more curious than anything. “Why?”

Spock comes to a standstill and turns to look at him. “Jim, is not your affection for me equal to the affection you harbor for Leonard, or have I been remiss in this assumption over recent months?”

The question is completely out of the blue. “What? You can’t be serious!”

“I assure you I am. Now please answer my question.”

“Spock, I—” Jim swallows. “You know I’d never love you less than Bones, or more than him for that matter. Why do you need to ask?”

“I had wondered,” Spock says slowly, “if that is the reason you do not speak to me as freely as you do with him.”

Jim grimaces. “I’m not going to bother you with my stupid problems, Spock. I know you’re hurting over what happened with the firm and T’Pau. You don’t talk about it but Bones and I—we know. And I’m really, really sorry,” he ends miserably, an old guilt rising anew.

The fist bunching the front of his jacket is a shock; when he is dragged into Spock’s personal space until they are nose-to-nose, Jim finds himself gaping at Spock’s uncharacteristic physical response.

“If you apologize to me again,” the lawyer begins, and he doesn’t sound very happy at all, “I may hit you.”

Jim’s eyes are wide. He answers rather breathlessly, “Hitting your boyfriend is domestic abuse.”

“Nevertheless, I will act as I see fit. I am not in Riverside because I am destitute, Jim. I am here because you are here and because Leonard is here. If that explanation does not suffice to convince you of my choice, then what is the use of words?”

Jim pinwheels his arms a little. “Spock, you should to put me down now. People are staring.”

“Is that a problem?”

“Yeah, ’cause you look like a gangster! A really scary gangster.”

Spock lets go of Jim to adjust the angle of his hat. “This weather calls for extra attire.”

Jim coughs into his hand to hide his laughter. “Spock, baby, not everybody has your exquisite taste in clothes.”

Those hawkish eyes pin Jim like a butterfly to a piece of parchment. Spock warns him austerely, “I have practiced judo since the age of six. You do not know what I am capable of.”

Jim grabs Spock’s hand, threading their fingers together, and grins. “Judo is sexy. Can I have private lessons?”

“Jim,” Spock says, echoing Jim’s words in a dry tone, “people are staring.”

“Let them,” he says, and tugs Spock onto the trail again. “We should go home and make breakfast for Bones.”

Spock follows him to the parking lot, not saying a word until they come abreast of Jim’s Harley. Then he asks the question Jim knows Spock wanted to ask all along: “Why did you come here, Jim?”

He figures the truth, though painful, is better than a lie at this point. “I wanted to find Gaila.” Spock says nothing but his quiet demeanor is simply a sign of waiting for the rest of the explanation. Jim’s answer is simultaneously a sigh and “She’s the only weapon we have left.”

“Friends should not be weapons,” Spock says quickly, no doubt alarmed at Jim’s wording.

“I know,” he murmurs as he forces his helmet onto his head and buckles its strap beneath his chin. “Trust me, I hate the thought too. But who would you rather it be, Spock—Bones or Gaila?” He doesn’t want to hear the reply so he revs his Harley’s engine to drown it out. “See you at the apartment,” he shouts over the noise and backs out of the lot, no longer able to look his boyfriend in the eyes.

The apartment is quiet for 8 am. Bones isn’t the happiest of early-morning risers but he rarely oversleeps. Frowning, Jim drops his helmet onto the couch and heads for McCoy’s bedroom. He gives a token tap on the door before poking his head inside. “Bones?”

The room is empty, the bed unmade and a pair of Leonard’s scrubs discarded over the back of a chair. Leonard isn’t in the bathroom and Jim would have seen him in the kitchen. Spock comes through the front door in time to meet Jim in the living room, staring blankly at a note on the coffee table.

“Bones is gone,” he says, hating the way his voice cracks.

Spock touches his elbow lightly. “What is it?” Lifting the note from the table, Spock reads it, undoubtedly wondering why it says I’m sorry, Jim and nothing else—and why that breaks Jim’s heart. “I do not understand.”

“He’s gone to Khan,” Jim tells Spock flatly. “Damn you, Bones.”

“Jim!” Spock calls his name sharply.

Jim ignores him and walks to the kitchen, jerking open the refrigerator door with more force than necessary. Maybe if he stares into the refrigerator long enough he can blame the tears in his eyes on its bright lighting. “Breakfast,” he states, choking on a surprising lump in his throat. “I’ll have eggs with a side of fuck my life. What’ll yours be, Spock?”

“I suspect,” is the reply near to hand, whereupon Spock gently maneuvers Jim to the side and closes the refrigerator door, “I will have no breakfast until you explain why Leonard is with Khan.”

The words tumble out, giving voice to the worst truth Jim has ever known. “We’re losing. We’re losing everything, Spock, and I can’t see a way out except one: I have to give Khan what he wants.”

Next Part

Related Posts:

• Sticks and Stones (18/18) – from April 19, 2012
• Sticks and Stones (17/18) – from April 17, 2012
• Emotional Much? – from April 17, 2012
• Sticks and Stones (16/17) – from April 13, 2012
• Sticks and Stones (15/17) – from April 11, 2012