A meme, because I can. :)

Comment to this post, and I will list five things I associate with you. They might make sense or they might be totally random. Then post that list, with your commentary, to your LJ (or just add a reply back to me). Other people (including me) can get lists from you, and the meme merrily perpetuates itself.

romennim picked the following words for me: writing, sunset, beach, music, Black Jewels. The commentary on each are below.

writing: If I truly began to discuss writing, LJ would kick out this post for word overflow. Which, really, amazes me because writing – as in hobby-writing – was not a definitive part of my life until a year and a half ago. I think we all know the story of how it came to be by now: I was bored, my thoughts were saturated with K/S/M, and I decided one day screw it all, I’m going to start writing fanfiction again.

At this point, it would probably make more sense to tell you what writing means to me. It’s a sanity-saving, ego-driven extracurricular activity that I ought to quit one of these days. I’ve become addicted to everything about it. What’s more satisfying than seeing your own imagination at work?

I don’t need writing like I need air, but if my life was bereft of it I might as well stop breathing. I don’t mean to sound like a crazy person, honest. It’s just important to me, is what I’m telling you. I need to know I can hone a skill, work productively, and feel proud of what I do. Real life has yet to provide me an appeasing opportunity to do any of this so I use my pseudo-writer_klmeri-life to get what I need.

I don’t feel that I am genius at writing but at least I’m doing it. :)

sunset: What an interesting choice. Sunsets are lovely but they make me sad sometimes. A sunset is an ending and a reminder of what has yet to arrive. Perhaps if I had riches abound and a lovely vacation home I could enjoy sunsets more. Then again, night is about the only time I have completely to myself – and that’s when I feel most alive. So… are they good or bad or in between?

beach: Funny thing. My family took regular trips to the beach when I was a child. I remember being excited every time we packed up (even if only for a day trip). I remember the irritating sand in my bath suiting and the dozens of shells I’d pick up. Then life kind of went kerplunk. For many, many years I didn’t visit the beach again, never with the same carefree and blissful attitude. I want that back. Perhaps this is the reason beaches (and oceans) feature prominently in my works. The beach, to me, is a place of longing, of hidden treasures, and of release. I used to think I would want to live by a beach every day, but now I know I only want to go to a beach to disappear.

music: If writing is the art of putting my ideas into tangible, accessible form, music is the birthplace of my writing muse. I have a stereo, the same stereo I have had for thirteen years. I have CDs for every possible song compilation I can match up. I put in my earphones, I start a CD, and… it begins. This is where I truly create what comes out in my writing. A playlist while working on the laptop doesn’t cut it. I have to be immersed in the music – and thereby in my imagination – before I begin to think of stringing words into sentences. Sometimes, a story has to be cultivated in this fantasyland of mine for years before reaching the point where it’s ready to be shared.

And to think, if there was no music, there could be no dreaming. How dull a life would that be?

Black Jewels: Oh my dear, why did you have to pick this one? Because it’s the only other fandom I’ve mentioned besides Star Trek? *whimpers a little* I must warn you, anyone who talks to me in person knows never to bring this subject up for discussion unless they are prepared to let me expound upon it for an hour at least. My mother says, “But it’s just fiction.”

Is it?

Is it really?

This is the world I want to live in. (Albeit, only in the safe places, with safe people.) These are the characters I want to meet in person.

We have something in common, romennim, because you mentioned that a book series ended badly and propelled you into fanfiction. This particular book series, the Black Jewels Trilogy and beyond (aka the Black Jewels World), did not end badly, per se, but it finished with a conclusion I still sometimes waffle about. Do I love the series any less? Or the author?

I COULDN’T.

I am that attached to the ‘verse. The beauty about this series is that Anne (the author) does not simply write about “dark” characters in a “dark” world. No supernatural beings in a modern world with modern expectations. The basics are so subtly different from what we are used to – society structure, ideals, laws, people – that it’s refreshing. Anne is one of those authors who writes with a very bold uniqueness that you won’t read anywhere else – which is what really brings the world to life, in my opinion. She knows how to honor her characters as they are, (no excuses, no holding back), to honor what they’ve experienced, and yet makes you love them all the more every time you discover a new fault with them. What I think is fun about the characters, too, are the names. If you read the backcover of a novel and are told the three main male characters are Saetan, Daemon, and Lucivar you’re going to roll your eyes, right? Is the author really going with demonic references? Really? Yes she is. She isn’t afraid to take risks like that AND, to boot, Saetan, Daemon, and Lucivar are the good guys. Not as in good-of-the-bad-category; as in, they are Good (at heart) living in a cruel, unjust, and sometimes downright evil world. You just… you just can’t imagine until you read the book.

This isn’t to say the series is perfect. Didn’t I mention it ends strangely? Did I also mention that you’ll grow sick of Anne’s obsession with Daemon? (He’s her head character and I firmly believe she is in love with him, or at least the idea of him. Sadly, I’m not.) But there is something about it you can’t deny is wonderful. Tantalizing. Glorious.

I can’t write in this fandom overly much. I can’t spoil its goodness. But I can spend half of my day fantasizing about it, and I often do. It’s my go-to place for comfort when I’m stressed (like hiding under the covers, except I’ll hide in a daydream of SaDiablo Hall); it’s my choice of leisurely reading on a pretty day.

Honestly, I cannot tell you what Black Jewels means to me in a coherent, all-encompassing way. I can only say it’s everything.

…

And this is the point at which I leave you, my friends, to ponder exactly how this strange person klmeri functions like a normal person in a normal world. Truthfully? I’m just pretending to be sane like everybody else. XD

Related Posts:

• I Squeed in the Middle of the Bookstore Like a Fangirl – from February 22, 2011
• Delicious is No More (for Me) – from January 20, 2013