13As Bones would say, Damn it!
I hate writer’s block. Argh. I write one good sentence, one crappy sentence. Another passable sentence. Three more craptastic ciphers of words. Brain… seriously, wtf. Where have all your good ideas gone? If I want to write something, you’re supposed to damn well MAKE IT HAPPEN. I’m taking away your title of Organ of the Month.
Does anyone else wonder why writing seems so simple until, that is, you try it for yourself? Your favorite author can make it look so, so easy. Oh, look at how elegantly they put their words together! How hard can it be to do that?
SO, SO HARD.
Most of the time, when I read through what I’ve written, I see a bunch of clumsy sentences instead of a story – which makes me want to key-smash repeatedly. As if that would make something better show up. LOL.
Is writer’s block a cruel twist of fate, or is it born of one’s own stunted ability? If the imagination can dream up a thousand different ways to die or fantasize about new possibilities if a lottery ticket happens to be a lucky winner, why can’t it produce a single, decent work of fiction many people would enjoy? We can be capable of so much because of our minds, so why are some of us limited as to how we use it?
And what is that mysterious creature, talent? Truly, what is it?
Sorry, I’m frustrated because I have time but no muse.
Related Posts:
- Some RL Things – from July 19, 2015
- The Season Should Be Over But It’s Not Really – from January 7, 2015
- Happy New Year’s, Everyone! – from December 31, 2014
- McSpirk Gift Exchange – from December 15, 2014
- This Person Needs Help – from July 25, 2014
{{HUGS}} I empathize, I truly do, I’ve been where you are, I’ve lived where you are, and as Chris Pine’s character says in “Just My Luck,” I think I’ve been MAYOR of where you are. And I’m there right now, in a way, wrestling with a scene in my WIP, a matter of should-they or shouldn’t-they characterization that’s driving me NUTS. So I understand. That said, I totally agree with the commenter above. Stillwaters put it so, so much better than I ever could, but if I could add anything, I would say also to remember that it’s a matter of perception. If you’re a perfectionist like I am, you’re always going to struggle with being your own worst critic. I’ve written scenes in another fandom that I thought were absolute CRAP only to have my editor strew roses at my feet (of course, I’ve also had the reverse happen: I’d write something I thought was the best I could possibly do in a given scene only to have my editor point at the drawing board and say, “Back to it.”). My point is, you’re an AMAZING writer from my perspective as a reader. I’ve gotten enormous reader’s pleasure from your work. I can’t remember ever running across a sentence that I thought was clumsy, clunky, etc. I’ll bet if I read what you’re considering crappy right now, I’d be all giddy and greedy and wanting more. PERCEPTION. We don’t see ourselves the way others see us, and I don’t believe we ever truly see our work the way others see it. I think the same goes for artists, musicians, anyone who engages in the creative process. So add this on to what Stillwaters said, and hang in there, because you’re not alone, and in my opinion at least, you’re certainly NOT lacking in talent!
Absolutely. It is perception. We are our own worst critics. Perfectionists, like you said. But days like this always hit me hardest, when my muse is a dry fountain and I have a golden opportunity to focus on my writing. Time and the Muse never coincide! Why, why, why? LOL. C’est la vie. Truly, thank you for your very kind words! They help ease some of my frustration. And I bet you can beat that WIP scene in a wrestling match. Punch it until it gives in! ;D
our favorite author can make it look so, so easy. Oh, look at how elegantly they put their words together! | And what is that mysterious creature, talent? Truly, what is it? You do know that you are talking about yourself, right? If the imagination can dream up a thousand different ways to die or fantasize about new possibilities if a lottery ticket happens to be a lucky winner, why can’t it produce a single, decent work of fiction many people would enjoy? Because dreaming and imagining are completely different than thinking and producing – witness any job market to see the difference. The people who dream big can rarely produce that same big dream in real life – that’s why they hire big thinkers and marketing teams to do it for them. Anyone can dream and imagine; that begins when we’re babies, and it’s an entirely unconscious and inherent part of human nature. Forcing that imagination and dream to work for us, to produce something, is an entirely different genre of thinking skills. All great thinkers have stints of poor thinking, because human nature is subject to ebbs and flows. And it’s not scientifically possible (even for Spock) to be constantly thinking at the same level; we would wear our brains out doing that. Therefore, writer’s block simply means that you are a mortal just like we all are – a highly talented one, but still a human. The only ‘stunted ability’ in the art of the writing world is the stunted ability of some to hang on until it gets better, or to be so blinded by so-called ‘talent’ that they’re incapable of realising just how poor their art really is. Dreamers give up and simply move on to another, better dream; thinkers sit stubbornly in front of their problem for as long as it takes to either think of a solution or let Time fix the issues on its own. You are, obviously, since you sat down and so firmly and eloquently addressed the Issue, the latter. I write one good sentence, one crappy sentence. Another passable sentence. Three more craptastic ciphers of words. Aside from the fact that I highly doubt anything that flows out of your keyboard could by any stretch be considered crappy, YOU WROTE! Celebrate that, because if you were one of those dreamers instead of thinkers, you would have stopped after that ‘crappy sentence’ and said “To heck with this, I’ll go watch a movie.” No, you continued and wrote a passable sentence and more words after that. And that is the difference between you with writer’s block and one of these writers who writes so much but really says so little. That is why you are one of the most fantastic writers I know, one of the ones that I would recommend wholeheartedly anything you’ve written without even bothering to read it. You are one of those you talk about that makes it all look so incredibly easy and that I sit in front of your work and resist the urge to chuck my laptop out the window because I could never plot and write like that no matter how much I want to. I remember back when I was writing for the Holmes fandom, and I was going through about a three-month-long stint of absolutely no writing power whatsoever. Literally, could not write a word. And protectorgf sat me down one day via Gchat and ordered me to write a drabble on a topic of her choice. Nagged me until I wrote the first sentence. It went something like Me: Yay me, I wrote six words. *eyeroll* PGF: Good, now you have the opening sentence. Write the next one. Me: But it’s a lousy sentence and not even what I wanted to write! PGF: I don’t care. Write the next one. Literally, for about an hour, during which I eked out about 50 words. But that really did help; I never published that awful, awful awful drabble – but the exercise psychologically helped me to see that I could still write; it just wasn’t going to happen the way and as fast as I wanted. All streams ebb and flow and dry out and flood depending on their surroundings; writing is no different.
You’re a fantastic writer, one of those that the rest of us look at as you described in your second paragraph up there. Don’t let anyone, yourself included, tell you otherwise. You have the gift of writing, but more importantly the gift of words; your words have power, even in something so mundane as a comment to another writer’s story. Your comments always make me smile, laugh, and be glad I wrote some paltry little dribblet – and that’s a rare thing. *hugs* This too will pass. I wish I could help but I’ve never been really able to dig myself out of writer’s block no matter how much I try. Just know that you are talented, and imaginative, and – more importantly – a thinker. It will come back.
I’m not teary-eyed at all after reading this. Really, I – okay, I am. The tears are welling up because you are generous-hearted enough to love me back. Oh, KCS, you know you’ll always be my hero, right? You’re such a lovely, lovely person and a lovely, lovely writer. If I could spam everybody’s inboxes with your stories, I would do it! People miss out on great Trek fandom if they don’t take the time to read at least one of your stories. You will always and forever be one of my favorite authors. I’m going to put your beautiful exposition on dreamers and thinkers as a bulletin above my workstation. THAT will be my inspiration to keep looking for my words. Thank you, KCS, for everything! <3<3<3 (Also, I now worship the ground protectorgf walks on because she obviously is an excellent support system for you, to our – your readers’ – benefit. Tell her thank you for me!)
I think that’s one of the most frustrating situations of all – when you have time galore, and no muse. It’s like when I have a billion things to do at work, and deadlines looming, and THEN my brain decides – oh yes, I know EXACTLY how to handle that. But writer’s block has nothing to do with a lack of talent – it’s something that I think every single author shares. My favorite author of all time, J.R.R. Tolkien, was constantly dissatisfied, and always trying to edit, and tweak, and fix, and there were times when he was blocked as well. But I think he has one of the most beautiful writer’s “voices” there is. I try to remember something else I learned from him. He started The Silmarillion before he started The Hobbit or The Lord of the Rings, and it wasn’t published until four years after he died, because he could never finish it to his own satisfaction. When I start beating myself down about the sentences that I feel suck, I try to remember that, and not let it stop me completely. Ugh, anyway, hope it gets better soon, bb!
Tolkien is obviously a master. The Silmarillion is my favorite book of his. Amazing – I didn’t know he wasn’t satisfied with it! Thanks for the insight. Sometimes I think our brains, when under pressure, automatically fall into some kind of defense mode, almost like a rebellion. That means they pretend deadlines don’t exist and a job isn’t a necessity to have money for food. Only the pleasurable things count in life. Like writing. Ha! If I had a nickel for every time my brain wanted to start a fanfic instead of a job proposal… Clearly I need to find myself a work project to jumpstart the muse!
Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl, you have no idea how many times I have gone to bed in *tears* over a story. I have had fights with Michelle because I wanted to give up (fights! complete with screaming!), and I have thrown things around the room. And I still think everything I write looks like “herp herp herp herp, derp herp herp derp, derp herpa derp derp derp.” IT’S NORMAL. (or as normal as any artist can ever be) That’s first off. Also, though, I think what you’re calling writer’s block could actually be called inner censor being a jackwagon. Just let the work be stupid and ugly. LET IT BE STUPID AND UGLY. Once it’s out there, you are allowed to fix it! You don’t have to try to get it right on the first try – that only leads to frustration, and lets the inner censor get her foot in the door, along with her bff internal editor, and they just have a FIELD DAY with your work, and they eat all your free time, and then before you know it you have to go back to the hustle and bustle of life AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT CHUNK OF WRITING TIME EVERYTHING SUCKS FOREVER lol, yes, i am fighting my inner censor and her bff internal editor right now, why do you ask? tl;dr – its ok to suck thats how you get the good stuff
I think what you’re calling writer’s block could actually be called inner censor being a jackwagon. Just let the work be stupid and ugly. That made my morning. Seriously. Stupid and ugly? I want to gouge my eyes out over stupid and ugly. Often it makes me want to take an axe to my laptop or my head, generally I can’t decide which, because I shouldn’t be making pathetic things. However, I will try to follow your advice and not erase the stupid. Exactly when is that Internal Editor supposed to show up, or does the b**** think she’s on vacation?
I shouldn’t be making pathetic things THIS RIGHT HERE? This is your inner editor. See, she’s not on vacation, she’s just not doing the job you need her to do. But she can’t, because the job you need her to do comes AFTER you write all the stupid and ugly. Some of the best advice I ever got about writing wasn’t actually about writing, it was about life-drawing, but it totally applies. Okay, so you have this thing you have to draw, so you put pencil to paper, and you sketch it out as best you can. Okay, great. So it’s there, and it’s wrong, and you see it’s wrong. So you fix it. Okay, so you change something, and it’s still wrong. So you fix it. You don’t worry that it wasn’t right the first time, because it’s not a contest, and that’s not the point. The point is to capture whatever it is you see as best you can, and to take as much time as it takes. If you got it in one go, fantastic. But if you didn’t, well, fantastic, it means your eye is developed enough to know that you can do better, and that you don’t have to settle. Don’t let the inner editor keep you from getting something on the page! You most definitely *should* be making pathetic things – that means you’re making things. What you shouldn’t do is leave them pathetic once you’re done – or not do them because the first attempts are pathetic. LET THE WORK BE STUPID AND UGLY. eta: I actually was looking at this page today because I’m freaking out over what I’m writing right now, and I realized you might be able to use something from it: http://grammar.about.com/od/yourwriting/a/wblockquotes.htm my favorite quote (and one that is quite relevant to what you and I both seem to go through at an alarmingly frequent rate) is “If I waited for perfection, I would never write a word.”
Thank you! I took your advice and wrote almost 7k today. It was easier, not backspacing every other word. Then the editor showed up and actually made some sense of things. :)
I hate writer’s block, too. Especially when you have TIME to write. That’s the most frustrating. But, I would disagree that your writing is EVER clumsy and there’s definitely nothing wrong with your imagination. Talent, as I’ve heard, is the result of thousands of hours of work. Nothing’s free. *hugs*
*hugs* It’s so easy to contemplate how other people do it better and psyche yourself out of writing. I agree that talent is work. But some people work much much harder because they don’t have a natural talent to help them. Of course, I do believe cultivated talent can be just as good as natural talent.