Title: Tied to You (#23, J ‘N B Series)
Author: klmeri
Fandom: Star Trek AOS
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Summary: Comment!fic inspired by this pic post at jim-and-bones; who knew a tie could be so useful?
Previous Parts: Another Day, Another Dollar, and a Daily Show? | Fight the Good Fight | Don’t Touch the Rock | A Tear Worth Gold | Another Day, Another Dollar, Part 2 | Pirates Read Too | The Case of the Mondays | Today’s Topic -Helmets! | The Case of the Mondays, Part 2 | Marked | Awesome Ideas Come from Awesome Brains | In the Keeping of a Spirit | The Case of the Mondays, Part 3 | The Case of the Mondays, Part 4 | The Case of the Mondays, Part 5 | Forewarned is Forearmed | The Case of the Mondays, Part 6 | The Case of the Mondays, Part 7 | The Case of the Mondays, Part 8 | The Case of the Mondays, Part 9 | Serenade | Another Day, Another Dollar, Part 3

The tie is atrocious—day-glo orange, like a pair of surfer’s shorts that should have never left its coastal habitat. Women look askance at it instead of admiring the man’s face as they otherwise might do. To say they give wide berth to the tie and the man would be an understatement. The good-looking fellow—for he is strikingly handsome, if one can get past the fashion faux-pas about his neck to see the lovely shade of his eyes and the upward, almost humble sweep of his mouth—winks at one female and moves in her direction as though he might try to talk to her, and she quickly averts her eyes, shopping bags flying in circle as she spins about in the opposite direction and hurries into a wandering crowd of tourists.

He seems satisfied instead of surprised.

Striding to a nearby stand of—”Sweet Jesus save us all!” an upscale fashionista had cried only minutes before upon sighting it—equally atrocious ties of various nauseating bright colors and patterns, he strips the orange one from his neck and hands it to the stand’s salesman with the firm declaration “I’ll take it.” The buyer pays in cash, tucks a paper bag with the newly purchased tie under his arm, and walks back to his hotel, whistling a jolly tune.

“Oh fuck,” Jim says as he digs in his duffel bag. “Fuck fuck fuck!”

Leonard pokes his head out of the bathroom with a toothbrush hanging from the side of his mouth. “What’s wrong, darlin’?”

Jim is too pissed to decipher the other man’s playful tone. “I packed a tie! Where the fuck is my tie?”

McCoy pulls the toothbrush out of his mouth to warn, “If you say ‘fuck’ around my daughter next week, I will kill you, Jim.”

“Fuck,” Jim repeats, kicking at his duffel bag like it’s responsible by eating his lost tie. He half-turns toward the bathroom. “Booones…”

“Check the top drawer of the dresser. I might have something.” Jim’s lover moves back into the bathroom to finish brushing his toothbrush. Leonard is leaning over the sink rinsing out his mouth when he hears “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” He smiles.

Leonard keeps his hand at the small of his companion’s back as they enter the hotel restaurant and bar. “Stop fidgeting,” he advises.

Jim tugs uncomfortably for the third time at the collar of his dress shirt since the elevator deposited them in the lobby, and his eyes dart to a pair of women who glance in his direction then hastily turn their backs to him and lean toward each other to whisper. “How could this be the only other tie you have, Bones? Fuck, I look ridiculous.“

“Deal with it,” McCoy says, amusement heavy in his voice.

They seat themselves at a table and Leonard gives their drink order to the waitress while Jim hunches in his seat in an effort to look inconspicuous. As dinner progresses, Leonard’s good mood increases proportionally to Jim’s paranoid fidgeting. By the time Leonard is done with his medium-rare steak and savoring a glass of brandy, he seems completely relaxed.

“This is the first uninterrupted meal we’ve had in a while,” he remarks, stroking his thumb along the rim of his glass.

Jim, apparently, is skimming the room for lurking photographers who want to immortalize his shame. “Are we done then?” The words come from between gritted teeth.

Leonard lifts a surprised eyebrow. “No dessert?”

Jim doesn’t answer, as he is now too busy gripping a sharp steak knife in one hand and contemplating the fabric of his tie with the other.

“Hey,” Leonard intercedes before Jim can act, “don’t ruin my tie!”

The steak knife is dropped back to the table with a clatter. Jim turns pleading blue eyes to Leonard. “Bones, please, can’t I take it off?”

“We had a bet. I won. Fancy dress tonight.”

“In a fuckin’ orange tie!” Jim’s loud protest turns a few heads from the bar.

“Not my fault you lost your own tie, sweetheart.”

“I didn’t lose it! I know I packed a—” Jim’s mouth snaps shut as he considers McCoy with narrow eyes.

Leonard sets his glass down with care, thinking he doesn’t like the look on Jim’s face.

“Is this a prank?” Jim asks him suspiciously.

“Nope.”

Was his answer too casual? Leonard guesses so, since Jim’s eyes become a stormier sea-blue.

Jim very slowly undoes the knot of the tie and pulls it away from his neck. He holds the offensive article up for McCoy to see. “Is this a prank, Bones?” the man repeats, sounding much too calm.

Leonard thinks about his response for a moment then sighs. “Jim…”

“Because if this is some stupid-ass stunt to embarrass me, McCoy—” Jim keeps talking as though it doesn’t matter what Leonard has to say.

Leonard jerks the tie out of Jim’s grasp. “This,” he growls, suddenly irritated and his good mood evaporating—which irritates him even more, “is the only reason we are havin’ a nice dinner!”

Jim opens and closes his mouth, and his expression settles between a mix of angry and confused. “What?”

Leonard flings the tie on top of their table’s flower centerpiece and glowers at its clash of color with a red rose. “Since we left our hotel room, the couple in the elevator didn’t check you out, the hostess didn’t bat her damned eyelashes at you, the waitress didn’t flirt with you before I could even open the menu and, goddamn it, you haven’t had a single proposition from every pair of tits in this bar! Now I know that might stick in your craw, Jim, but it suits me just fine. I’ll take a quiet night with my lover and an ugly tie any day, considering the usual shit I have to put up with when we go out.”

After a moment of silence, Jim says, “Oh.”

Leonard’s ire vanishes as quickly as it appeared. “Forget it. I’m gonna find the waitress and get the check.” Jim catches his arm as he stands up.

“Bones.”

“What?”

Jim lets him go and reaches for the tie instead. “Could you help me put this back on?” The look in his eyes is soft and serious, though his tone is light.

Leonard’s heart melts a little when he realizes what Jim is saying, and he brushes his thumb across Jim’s cheek. “Yeah?”

Jim nods.

He smiles. “Tell you what… let’s pay the bill, forget about the romantic walk through the park, and just go back upstairs. No tie necessary.”

Jim’s lingering kiss is answer enough.

When the waitress comes over to collect dishes (and investigate the drama going on), she looks first at Leonard then at Jim and blinks slowly as though she is seeing Leonard’s companion for the first time without his blinding transgression against all sexy tuxedo-wear.

“Hello, sir, is there anything else I can do for you this evening?” she says coyly.

Jim smiles at her and very casually drapes the loose orange tie in his hand over his shoulder. Her eyebrows draw together slightly as she sees it, and the waitress bites her bottom lip, visibly vacillating between continuing to flirt with Jim and recoiling from the crude color of the tie.

“There isn’t a thing I need that I don’t already have,” Jim replies smoothly as he snakes an arm around Leonard’s waist.

Leonard is silent until they are away from the restaurant and across the lobby to wait on an available elevator. “I guess I should give you back the tie you packed.”

Jim cuts his eyes to McCoy. “I’ll forgive you for stealing it, Bones, on one condition.”

Leonard wants to know, “What do I have to do?”

“Not do,” his lover says, “just tell. Tell me where you bought this thing—” He lazily flicks the end of the orange tie still hanging from his shoulder. “—so I can buy an extra.”

Leonard frowns. “Why in God’s name would you want two?”

“I don’t.” Jim grins. “But your idea is best-served if we both wear one.”

“That’s crazy!”

Jim leads the way into the elevator as its doors open. “Think about it,” he says to Leonard, pressing the numbered button for their floor, “from my perspective. If no one but you can have me…” He deliberately trails off.

Leonard does and, eventually, admits to himself Jim has a point about fairness. But when he catches the smug look of Jim’s face, he says instead of agreeing, “We could just throw it away.”

Jim removes the tie from his shoulder then angles his body toward Leonard and slowly begins to un-button his dress shirt, still smiling. “Oh, it’s too late for that, Bones.”

The elevator dings to announce their arrival at the correct floor but Leonard’s eyes are fixed on Jim’s exposed collarbone. He reaches behind him and fumbles for the Close Door button, murmuring, “I’ll take you to the shop tomorrow.”

Jim’s voice dips into a purr. “Excellent. Now, come here.”

As Jim uses the tie like a rope to reel him in, Leonard finds that he has no particular complaint about purchasing another orange tie. Or maybe purple, he thinks, since orange is now Jim’s color.

-Fini

The Amateur Pigeon-Catcher

Related Posts:

• Another Day, Another Dollar, Part 4 (#40, J ‘N B Series) (40/40) – from March 29, 2013
• The Light In Which We’re Cast (#39, J ‘N B Series) – from March 20, 2013
• Playing Life to Win (#38, J ‘N B Series) – from March 14, 2013
• An Intergalactic Fandom (#37, J ‘N B Series) – from January 15, 2013
• We Fight to Win (#36, J ‘N B Series) – from January 4, 2013